Ramblings of a mad man, My personal thoughts ??? | Daniel Marshall Adventures

By now you can tell that i moan a lot, sound like a old man, etc That is why i named this blog ramblings of a old man because once again i just need to get things off my chest how i feel right now ):

The past couple of days have just not been great mentally, and i have fount myself moping around most of the day on my computer not being able to even focus to watch tv shows fully concertinaing.
The weekend that has just gone was a great weekend.
I managed to play my best ever rounds of tennis, i felt happy.
I then after a few months decided to even go out of comfort zone and watch live bands again in Grantham, to which i took photography and was supposed to have posted a blog post about the evening by now !!!!!!
However i just have had no creative spark to write anything, i wanted to even write this post the day before but again i just seem to be standing at my computer most of the time or aimlessly struggling through the internet just so time can fly by.

I dont know what made me feel the way i have been the last few days as this is why its been so frustrating that i still cant get the help In lincolnshire, for my issues.
since i do feel depressed, i do suffer with aniexty, but also from a friend who told me i might be bi Polor due to how i feel which i will explain throughout this post.

On sunday, i had posted most of photography up of the night seeing the bands, it was a great night and i managed to stay, because i was upfront with my back to everyone so i could just focus on the music, seeing the performers and taking photography.
as i sat on my computer on sunday wanting to write the post, my mind just went blank.
Bloggers and writters often get this so i thought i would watch a few shows and maybe i could write it later.
as the day went by i started to feel worse and worse, to the point that, i switched my computer off and tried to take a nap.
the nap turned into me falling to pieces crying about nothing to start with, this happends a lot, i start to feel sad, and 99 percent of the time nothing i do make me snap out of it.
This then led into me thinking about my past.
The truth is the last year and a half since i broke up with my ex, i have tired so much to put it all behind me, get my head down and focus on being who i want to be, which is being creative.
For some reason, 5 out of 7 days, sometimes less differing each week, i think about my ex.
I think about the life we had, i think how much i miss her and how i wish i could turn back time.
Then i think, how much my ex decided to try and ruin my life after we broke up, depsite me causing the break up.
I think of how much she used her parents to come in between us all time that, all couples argue but for some reason she thought it was a good idea instead of sorting it between us to tell her parents all time.
even though she did i still loved her to bits, my only regret was not seeking help for my mental health years before we broke up, so that i could of got the help i needed, and maybe been a better position in life at this current time.
i think if she had learned to talk more about things, and i got the help maybe we would not of broke up. That said, i look back and have come to understand that all my life was depended on her, i never had friends and never tried to reach out for them because i was happy just spending time with her, which again i think if i did have friends, maybe it would have put less stress on us being together so we could have our own time to do things, i could go out and play tennis etc while she went to she her family, I realised now that there is more to life then just being with someone and have tried to much to explore different things to do.
as much as i have tired to cope on my own, grow up and seek the help, i still find it very hard to cope.
I find it hard to Motivate myself to do chores, which is partly to do with my depression.
when i was with my girlfriend, i used to the oppsite then i am now.
i would make sure the house was clean, do the pots, so that on the days she worked she didnt have stuff to worry about, and since i struggled to cook, due to my lack of hand corditation, it meant that i would help clean the pots, set the table etc while she cooked, often i would offer to help but she did not want it.
where as now i struggle to cook for myself, i struggle to often tidy my room, wash the pots etc.
its like if there was a inspection or i had a date come over for example, that need to have it nice, would make me do, and often i feel in life i need that little push for a few days to put me back on track.
but still just like back then, i have days where i know in my head i do not feel quite right, and that i am going to feel rubbish, when i had more then 6 hours spare time when my ex went to work, after 3 hours i would feel like i was losing my mind having nothing to do, and end up doing the same things over and over just to pass the time.
Now yes i do a lot of physical activites but i often still feel this way when i am not doing them.
its like things have changed in my life since the break up but some things havent.
which then puts me on a circle of a life of running out of money and having nothing to save up for a day out etc.
this is due, to the fact of craving even just a hour more happyiness in the day, weather that is, going to play pool, to buying a milkshake, chocolate etc.
it may seem silly that doing these things makes me happy, but it does, and if i try as much as possible not to waste money i find myself falling to peices again.
Going for a walk does not help, trying to have a nap, sleep, just anything does not make the pain go away, i can only hope for something to try and lift it and most of the time i just have to wait it out and wake up the next day trying to not let it take over my life again.

So going back to last few days, sunday was rubbish, i got a bad nights sleep, i woke up and just sat in bed for hours and had to force myself out to the gym, i put all my muscles into it hoping that i could force the pain away.
It worked, later that day i had a meeting with my support worker, about the next steps in my housing and support.
I was told for now we arent going to move you, and i did mention even though its not the best place in the world, i do feel happy with the place i am in,
They also starting filling in another Assesment form to give into the council this time trying to go into more detail about my learning difficults and other such things.
I explained to them i am going to chase up the mental health team about getting help as its been over a month since i re applied and still waiting to be seen by someone.
I only realised now as i write this i was supposed to do it today but with me feeling so rubbish i forgot

it seems ironic that everytime i have a good few weeks, and i have to fill in a sheet with scores that a few hours later that i go into this cycle of really bad depression.
its like my brain knows, and goes right thats enough happyiness you know must feel crap.

I got back home, again not thinking of anything bad, and just started to cry, after about 20 mins, i picked myself up, watched something to make me laugh and then headed back to the gym.
This time i went to do a watt Bike Class, the last one i did, i had to stop half way, i was struggling to move and catch my breath,
and had not gone back to the class since.
i had been working hard on my legs, due to wanting to go back to running after nearly having a month off, as i wanted to focus more on my tennis.

working on my legs pulled off, as i had my best session ever !!!!
The staff who took the class decided to set the hardest setting ever, with red zones lasting 2 mins !!!!
and it being a session off swapping to red and yellow only.

I was doing incredable well, managing it, 10 mins to go and i was struggling a bit but kept pushing through the pain and just listening to the music that was playing, as my brain is so tuned into music, i performed much better in those classes with the music then when i try to do it without.
5mins to go,i was sweating so much, my head hurting, my chest really hurting but i was adamant i will finish this class !!!!
The final 2 mins left my brain in the zone, i go from 80 percent to 90 percent in 10 seconds suprassing everyone elses bulid up.
faster, faster, it was like being in a wind tunnel, nothing was stopping me, i could feel being faster then i ever have when running and i was.
my best targets was a peak heart rate of 183 and getting to 97 percent.
i got to that level and pushed even further, i can honestly say i really dont know how the human body can some how find engry out of thin air, since i was really struggling with 5 mins to go, i had used everything up, and yet i managed to get to 99 percent !!!! not only that i held it for 40 seconds.
Before when doing weights and seeing the screen where the my zone belts track the people in the gym.
looking at the scores of people in the watt bike sessions on days that i was not and one person getting to 99 and thinking how on earth !!!
There i am managing to do the same, in life though its often when we acheive something that you do not get proof of it other then the people that was there at the time.
As i had stupidly forgot to bring my belt so it could send you the results after you finished, i had to have a demo belt on, which sadly does not keep the information since its not registered to anyone.
i walked off the bike, feeling dizzy, but such a rush, to the point it took nearly half a hour, and some cereal to bring me back down to earth.
I put a post up on Facebook saying that i was well impressed with my physical state, because i have never been fitter and stronger in my whole life, i just wished my mental health was the same.
it is annoying that i can acheive in life, but its always in leaps and bounds because of my mental health.
i either really struggle, or i really achieve, this is no middle ground where i can stay level and acheive every now and then while still doing great overall.

sadly when comes the highs comes the lows again a hour after settling down relaxing did i suddenly fell apart again, and had yet another bad nights sleep, with having lots of nightmares.

One point throughout the night, i woke up chocking, as i felt like i was drowing, something i have not felt in over a year and really scared me.

it was also very cold, and you know when you kind of wake up, look around and then end up nodding back off, and you also tell by how bright it is outside it must be a certain time, so its not time to wake up yet?
well i did that, i set a alarm that i cant remember turning off, and did not wake up till 10.30,
my body was hurting, and i just laid there for 10mins looking at the dam wall !!!
i managed to finally crawl out of bed got something to eat and thought write i need to write this blog post about the music.
Yet again nothing was coming to mind, and again ended up watching some stuff online.
Again i dragged myself to the gym, The watt bike class later in the evening was a mixture between the bike and doing intensive workout off the bike, something i have tired before and did it was not really my thing.
Instead i asked if it was ok if no one was using the studio to set up a class, for myself so i could try and get a good record with this time remembering my belt.
The kind staff there set it up, with music and disco lights on !!! hehe, i chosen a less intense workout then the day before and away i went.

I did not beat any targets, but i was happy i tried and enjoyed the session, and here was the results





 I only wished i could have seen the stats of the other day as i know they would of been off the charts and my aveage effort would of been something like 88-90 percent (:

Then something really pissed me off and upset me which then made me think about things.
I am joined in a lot of groups on Facebook, just groups to get to know each other, and have fun.
I Joined a group called Banter 18+ and like every group i am in, i introduction myself, like where i am from, what i like doing etc.
Never had a problem in these sort of groups, until today.
I got comment after comment, of dising me, hateful comments, even very nasty ones.
One person said who is that in your picture, with you, i said my best friend which is the truth.
they laughed and said i thought it was a support worker, and put as if thats your friend.
I put it is with a smile and they just took the piss.
after getting 10+ comments i contacted the admin, who didnt even a dam, and also starting taking the piss.
I dont mind banter, i dont mind having a laugh but i will not have the piss took out of me for no reason.
I dont find it funny, i just think its sad that some people have nothing better to do with there lives then to sit on Facebook, and troll people.

Of course this set my off and started making me think lots of things of how badly people have treated me since i was much younger.

I remember nearly everyday, i was bullied from being beaten up, to nearly ever p.e lesson having my bag took, and things being missing when i got it back, the head teacher and teachers doing sod all to deal with it.
I remember having to use the issue to go to toliet every time i had spanish class because The Teacher who took it was never hardly there and all we would have it temp teachers who the moment had there back to me or left the class for a few moments, the kids would throw stuff at me and say nasty things to me.

Of course my dad not making anything better with everytime i came home with something missing, went up the wall , and when i say mad i dont mean shouting i mean really dam mad.

If it was not being bullied at school it was kids shouting outside the windows of cars passing by, calling me names.
Everytime i caught the bus home, i had things thrown at me etc.

Then years later when i am trying to make friends online because of my fear of getting to know people, do i get people messing me about and people who knew the people who bullied me and thought it was funny to do the same.

When you think, 8 years later that people would of grown up and moved on, you contact a few people you knew from school, not the once that bullied me but just people from my school.
To then be called names, I replied saying at least i am not trying to be this junked up thug thinking they are better then everyone, still acting like a school kid thinking they are in the cool gang and wanting to call people nasty names cause they have nothing better to do with their lives.
of which then them saying at least i dont flinch everytime someone is near me.
its like well der..... cause i will, since most of the people i knew from school just wanted to beat me up, of course that makes me some kind of creep, a faggot, a idiot ????? these are the names people from my school thought of me.
I just do not get why kids are bring brought up to think they are all cool, and that to them, making others feel crap about their lives gives themselfs happyiness.
is there lives that empty, and boring they cant get on with their own lives?

I would say is just the male gender that does it but the females are just as bad.
I also Remember trying to meet some females from the net, again because my social skills in the real world are next to none.
to then be make a fool again, by ringing them up saying where are you, to either get them laughing on the phone saying as if i meet you, you ugly twat, etc and that person i was going to meet being with their friends to also play there sick game of lets laugh at the twat.

or it was the exuse of a day later getting a text saying sorry i was in Hosptial, for one person you think well maybe there might of been some truth to it.
but over a course of years getting the same exuse from about 5 different women, about their dad is in there, or someone, to people even refusing to give out their phone number after arranging the meet so that i could ring to make sure they are there.

All my life weather its online, or offline i just seem to be played like some kind of fool all the time.
some people can not be honest with me and make lie after lie up and when the people are honest its abusive, and nasty !!!!!

People expect me just to get over my problems, my issues etc and yet how can i when if its not my own problems stopping me in life its other people,

Again this somehow makes me the issue that i am a monster a creep etc, and yet is wanting to be accepting, wanting to talk to people really a monster????

A prime example of people not being able to be honest and making up lies because they just do not want to talk to you, is Facebook.

I have never been able to get over the fact of approaching a woman, just to have a chat and become friend in the real world, that is not me i hid behind my computer where i feel confident and i am able to be the person i want to be and talk to people.
Because i have been helping my local community so much it would be nice to connect with more people in my local area weather that be males or females.
Other i have had bad luck with the way women reply to me on social media, i still for some reason find it easier to be able to find a few people to talk to rather then males who normally take the piss out off me, i am lucky that i have some great male friend in my life, through my networking skills and through gym, tennis etc.
The other day i contacted this woman, who lived in Grantham, and went to college in Grantham, stated by her profile,
so i sent her a message just simply saying that i wanted to get to know people across the local area.
Her reply was i am not from Grantham, i replied emm yes you are it states it on your profile, she then replied with oh it must be a mistake with a wink face, and before i had chance to reply i was blocked !!!

Like really why are people not brought up with manners anymore, and why do people find it funny to a not be truthfully and b not play silly games.
I can take a rejection on the chin if someone said to me, for example sorry not looking for anymore friends etc, but when someone decides to lie and find it funny, then it annoys me.

Then people wonder why i have aniexty, that is why.
my aniexty has gotten worse over the last few months that unless i am foucsing on what i am doing, i find it hard to be around others.
take the music events i go to, if there are 3 band playing with each band taking a 10min break before the next one is on, i find myself, looking around, making sure no one is to near me, i go on my phone for no reason not because i am bored, but because unless i am doing something, i feel on edge, i start to panic, which had often lead to me leaving gigs early.
Same when i am at the gym, can be room full of guys all, just foucsing on what they are doing and yet will i go in there, no because i dont want people looking at me, i am not as strong as most people in the gym, and i often do things wrong, so i dont want to seem like a fool.

When i am avoiding a room full of people i end up drinking water when i do not need, to standing there looking like a idiot, waiting for my friend to finish on the equipment, or whoever is on it.
when i workout on my own at the gym, your suppose to take a min break after ever set, and yet i dont because again, i feel silly if i have nothing to do, which then ends up me hurting my body because its not had the rest it needs.

If my most happy place at tennis, i am often like this, i am not as bad but still unless i am doing something, i just end up falling to bits.

This has been my circle of life, i want to achieve so bad to prove people wrong that i put my body through so much.
i want to explore more of Lincolnshire, and do more things in life, which involves being social and being the public view but again i often back away from things because of being scared of people around me or doing something new.

I want to make friends but i have to resort to sending messages to people online because i can not just strike a convo up with someone.

I often here as well people to say so much, your still young, it takes time,... Time is the word that i heard so much.
For me i view time as after a year and a half after the break up, i am still no closer to getting help with my problems, time lost being stuck in the house, due to my problems, time lost, doing nothing all day when i have things to do.
Losing time everyday, because my aniexty seems to only be getting worser day by day.
so when someone turns around to me, and says you will get used to it.
I say to myself, how??? I exhausted all options to try and be the person i crave to be.
I have tried all opitions to get help to get permanent housing, to do things to make me happy???

Yes i may do sports, gym, running, pool, photography, videos, music, blogging, social media marketing, and other things, and yes maybe i have come a long way since the start of 2016 ???

In my own opinion i cant think of a reason that i have come along way when i still feel a wreak in life.

It gets that bad that, i have to crave physically actives even after doing them earlier in the day and my body hurting, to get out of the house, to try even for a hour to feel some kind of happyines !!!

I try to think everyday that if i stand a chance with finding more friends or finding someone to be with, that might help my life become better again, that i need to keep trying in life, keep pushing harder and harder to achieve???

How can i expect to have that when i am so messed up,
I remember having  a talk with someone, about mental health, and they said they could not be with someone who struggles a lot in life because it would affect their live.
on one hand i agree but on the other i dont, i think if you really like that person for who they are, you would learn to be there for them and help them through dark times.
Depression like with most things comes in many stages, one of which is loneliness, even i have to admit this that i crave the attention but why do i???
I just simply did not have it most of my life, from my dad that was abusive to my mum, and never having that caring element in my life, to being bullied at school and having no friends, and to even being told i would never acheive in life by people.
A element inside me wants to try with everything i have to prove them wrong,
Maybe thats why some people in my local community support me and talk to me because of my stupid ramblings, i dont know but i crave attention because i never had it in my life.

I can understand by my own actions and others that i often possible post to much about my life, i often possibly moan to much,  and possibly annoy people that way who knows?

I think sometimes we live in such a cruel world that, people look down on others who struggle more then themselfs, that people are so quick to judge someone on their age, the way they look or act.

I think that people see and hear about a depressed person, and choose not to speak to them because they are a werdio etc.

One of my main worries is that when i manage to find someone to be with, would i go back in the same cycle of not wanting to do my own things.

I have built a life around me that i dont want to get rid of it, but because it is the attention i crave, when i able to seek it will it just take over my life.

For some reason when talking to older women i always seem to get on better with them, i think because they are much wiser, been through a lot, and stuff like that, it just makes me feel more safe knowing they wont judge me.
I take that attitude that i do not judge, my dad was awful at that, and everytime he saw someone who was not English he would take a immediate disliking to them.

I am just a open because i dont judge someone on their age, looks, sex, etc.
i think i also take that same approach to friends and dating, a lot of people will say sorry your not my type which really is not a answer but oh well, or to young to old, i only date black people like wtf lol,
me i am just happy talking to anyone, who is accepting of me, who does not judge on my past, or what i look like etc, who understand me and can have adult talk about things.
I am not a robot, i am human, i know when to have a laugh at the right times i know how to have fun, i am just simply a educated person rather then someone who likes to take the piss out of others, just so they can look cool in front of their friends (:

so yeah you may hate me, you may have heard things about me from other people,
but you know what i dont care, if your that low minded to think that way i am better off not knowing you (:
it is always better in life to have a few friends that you talk to a lot and are there for you then to have 2,000 friends on Facebook, thinking your popular, when you probably do not know all of them,  you just like the fact of showcasing a number !!!
its took me a long time to bulid my life this far, i have learned to stand up for myself, to not let bullies walk over me, and to prove to people that i have something to offer, not by wanting money but just to help and to feel accepted in return (:

this has been a really long write for me its gone 2am as i am finishing this, and probs wont wake up till 11am, but if writing this makes me able to have a better day tomorrow then i will happily be a mad man and write !!!!!

Thank you for Reading  

My first Park Run Experience In Grantham Run to 5k | Daniel Marshall Adventures

On Saturday 6th May 2017 was my first ever park run being held at belton house in Grantham.
I have been running on the coach to 5k With Grantham running club now for 7 weeks.
and noticed a lot of people saying about getting a 3rd run in and that people was going to park run.

This was the next step to see if i was ready to do with 5k with a lot bigger crowd.
I think there was about 300 people overall, a lot different to around 80 of the running club.

i was already entering with a slight pain to my left leg, which still hurts as i am writing this and off to the doctors to see what it is.

It decided to rain a bit on all the days to rain why that day lol !!!

9 o clock hit and we all set off, i set off in pain but pumped, and about 5mins in knew i had set off to quick, as i was getting a few more pains.


i kept looking back to where my group was and could not see them, to be fair there was a lot of people.
halfway round the first lap, i was really struggling, to say that i had almost managed 5k the other weeks in the group.

a few bends before the first lap finished i had to stop for a few seconds, as i was struggling to breath and was gripping my stomach.

as i approached, the end of the first lap, one of the members of the club was cheering us on, and said come on daniel you can do it.

This then gave me a boost of confidence, but it only lasted for a few mins, as the pains came back.
for some reason, running at the same pace, or even slower, was making me give up more, but running full pelt, for even a minute made me hurt more yes but also gave me that lift to keep pushing.

like the first lap but even more i had to stop, and i almost starting crying as i could not handle the pain.
i just kept bolting forward through it, before there was a loop to the finish line.
I gave it everything i had, moving faster then i ever had been going.

Then it hit, half way round the bend i stopped and froze, i could not feel my legs, i felt dizzy like i was going to pass out.
i got moving after a few mins, but i was staggering all over the place not been able to even walk in a straight line.


 

as you can see in the picture above i am in the background holding my jacket, and all i wanted to do was get to the finish and sit down.

everyone was asking if i was ok, but it was like my brain was on auto pilot i could not think of anything, or what i was even doing.

I was told to do some stretches and my body just would not do them.
at this point all i wanted to do was cry but i kept it in, not wanting to draw attention.
i then went with a group of people from the running club to have something to eat, which did make me slightly better, but still did not feel right.

I later got home had something more to eat and tried to rest.
so if it did so much pain why would i want to do the park run again?
well we all have off days where we cant not do something we have been doing so well at for a while.

other then being in pain, i loved the experience, running in the fresh air, being a part of in my mind a competition.
what can i say i like a challenge, i like giving it my all, i like being competitive,  even if i over do it and end up making myself ill.

I finished the run, in just under 37 mins, people that had been doing it for a while was getting around 20mins, and i was just like how on earth.
but i think if i did not have my leg pain that i was trying to shift the running to other parts of my leg, and stopping, i would of got around 30mins.
showing that i do have the strength deep inside i just have to find it.

I have come a long way from when i first started to run last year, and i hope to keep going.
I am aiming to enter the parkrun again in 2 weeks time, aiming to complete the coach to 5k, and then see where life takes me.
I have to say though if anyone wants to see the amazing photography of the people running in the park run please do so here.
its how i managed to find pictures i was in (:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/126222129@N05/34354716151/in/album-72157680363339693/

so if you ever have fear of entering events like park run, just try to take it your own pace, easier said then done, as the atmosphere just takes over.

Try to just focus on running, not passing people, not thinking off other around you, just keep saying you can do this do not give up and then be proud of whatever the result, because you are the one that decided to get out of bed and try something different to come out of your comfort zone (:

Thank you for reading
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Grantham Tennis club, feeling good again project, Update 2017 | DanielMarshallAdventures

I have so many blog posts i want to write that i am going to try and write one everyday (:
oddly enough i was searching through google images for Grantham Tennis Club, so i can use different ones then i already had when i came across this.
Dale Wright, who with many others, set up The Feeling good Project, after 12 weeks funded course that ended in December 2016, we could carry on but at a fee of 3 pounds per session, to help cover the cost for the coaches etc.
This i believe was took about 2 months a go, and dale said to me it would be used in places.
What i did not know and really shocked me is, The Grantham Journal which is Granthams local press, Did a article on The project only a few weeks a go.
so when i saw this image being linked the post, i was over the moon, as i did not know this existed.
I will leave the link to the post, at the end of this blog post (:

At the moment as well i have been helping put a small video together for the club, to help get more funding, this was done a few weeks back, and is being sent off, it involves a clip of some of the people from the project playing tennis, talking about mental health and how its playing tennis has changed my life.

At the moment with most things you do for a business etc, you have to follow certain protocols so i can not share it around until i have permission to (:
I love helping the club, helping with projects and the community, and as the new project Feeling Good Again has started, i have enjoyed being a part of it, helping the new people that turn up.

There is still time, to come along and see what you think, again all details about Grantham Tennis Club will be at the end of this post.

The reason i am doing a little update is to go into detail about the talents i have already been seeing.
The 12 weeks start on the 10th may 2017, and so far there has been 2 weeks of taster sessions.

In my own opinion due to how quick people are picking up the skills, and how well they are doing, the sessions do seem to be quicker in learning.
What i mean by that is, the things the group was learning, such as how the scoring, works, doing matches, where you need to stand when playing doubles etc, was learned in about week 4-5 and already its been taught.

Since being a part of the club, I have watched people from all ages play, and you think how do these people play so well.

It just comes down to a few things really, one of which is told by so many people and only listened by a few, not wanting to accept, that is all it takes, which is practice, and the other is having the amazing coaches, train you, to know what types of shots to play, watching where the other team players are, and most of all where the ball is.

Without those things, i would not be playing at the level i am now.
When i first joined the original Feeling good project, i could hit a ball yes.
However, i didnt know how to serve, i did not know the different type of shots, since whenever i played tennis in the park years a go, i would just hit it anyhow just hoping i would win.

It may seem a lot of work at first, it also may sound very confusing learning, all the different elements to tennis.
Like with anything you learn in time, when driving for example, you think how on earth am i going to remember to shift, steer, brake, speed up etc but after learning and practice it becomes second nature, and it feels natural.
 
The most important part of the project and tennis as a whole is just having fun,
chatting to each other, supporting them but also, having a laugh at their shots, not haha you missed it like saying they are bad, but just saying stuff like, you nearly got it, oh i can see what you was trying to do there, playing a cheeky volley across court etc.
Other players will know your being friendly and enjoying the game.

A prime example was, the other day i was playing a social game at the club, which they have 3-4 times a week.
We got a good volley going, when the ball was flying across to me and my team mate we forget to say to each other oh ive got this, and nearly missed the shot, i had to run backwards for it, and pulled off a great shot and we laughed about it.

I joined the club because of the project, i wanted to play even more tennis and the socials was a great way to play with even more people but again just getting out the house and having a good time.

The socials work in the format of a 2 hour session, there are between i would say, 20-30 people turn up, we play 30 minute double matches, and sometimes singles if there is a odd number of people, or less courts.

then you regroup and play different matches with different people, its a great way to, learn from each other, play on the different types of surfaces, from indoors, astro, clay courts, etc.

This is what i want to see from others who join the new project, hoping to complete the 12 weeks, make friends, have a good time, be able to claim there ratchet at the end of the course, and maybe want to become part of the club, because they love tennis so much.

There are some amazing talents, from just the 2 sessions that have been on so far in the project.
One person is someone i already knew, from somewhere else, and our playing styles are very much like.
He has not played tennis since being a young age, which is about 20 ish years but he is a natural talent.
The most important skill i have seen which is my best skill, is the awareness of where the ball is going, and being able to move around to pull of some of the tightest of shots.

The time files even when watching tennis because its entertaining, some people will just say like with football your just hitting a ball around, well i would say try it out because trust me your opinion would soon change, you dont realize how much effort you put in how much your body can move to places that dont seem possible to reach, its fun, its adrenaline pumped, its amazing is all i can say (:

The first week, in the course, you learn one of the most simplest things that some people may think that is a waste of time and stupid but again you will learn its not.

That is learning to catch a ball, and bounce the ball, it works on your hand coordination, so when your throwing the ball in the air to serve, to watching where the ball will land, keeping the same amount of bounce to the shot, so you learn a rhythm.

its also good for playing matches, you can see when the ball goes out of play, to say to the other person, second serve, out etc.

Grantham Tennis club, is not a serious place, where you have intensive drills and it feels like work instead of fun.
you can ask for that if you want, if its something your practicing for a completion for example.

The point of the scheme and the club, like i mention above, is to learn how to play, but having fun, we can all get competitive at times, heck, i laugh my socks at some of the shots played, and i come away, laughing and talking about the game in a good way.
But i also do not give up, if someone plays a shot which has just gone over the net i will run for it to try and win the point, if a shot goes behind me , i will... yes run for it.
Your body will do amazing things, and play out of this world shots, if you make it.
the ball does not come to you most of the time you have to go to it (:

The staff at the club are amazing, just to name a few, you have lewis Rae, who is a young fellow, a coach, a amazing player and a killer serve.
hes outgoing, tough but fair, will push you but at the same time having a laugh and enjoying whats going on.

You have James Prior who is at the moment taking his level 3 coaching course, he does a lot of training, with younger people, i always see him coaching someone, no matter the age.
Hes a amazing coach, again amazing player, and it was good to have him on the BBC Radio Lincolnshire Show, talking with me and dale about the project and mental health.
You Have Richard do not know his surname lol, he likes to show talk a lot, and praise people  to really brighten peoples moods, hes always up for saying, we have awesome talent, here, or here is the all star team lol.

He also comes up with some really bizarre games, which can be a lot of fun.

If it was not for all this experience, i would let my mental health problems win all the time.
Its not been easy, its never going to go away, but when you come away from the club feeling over the moon and so happy, that you just want to play tennis again, then its so worth it !!!

If you would like to get in contact with the club about the project or to talk to them, then please visit the links below and i hope you have enjoyed reading this (:

Full Voice Interview

https://soundcloud.com/dmpworldmusic/bbc-radio-lincolnshire-interview-grantham-tennis-club Grantham Journal post http://www.granthamjournal.co.uk/news/grantham-tennis-centre-to-hold-more-feeling-good-sessions-1-7926492 Grantham Tennis club social link https://www.facebook.com/granthamtennisclub/
https://twitter.com/GTCManager https://clubspark.lta.org.uk/granthamtennisclub Follow Melvyprior here https://twitter.com/melvynprior My Social Media Links

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Grantham Running Club, Park Run & Mind over Marathon program | DanielMarshallAdventures

About 6 weeks a go I wrote a blog post about The coach to 5k With Grantham Running Club.
I was going to write another one, but at the end of the course to reflect how it went.

I have decided that because its going so much better then i ever expected to do a update but to also talk about mental health, and the mind of marathon program.

The start of the course, saw us do 2 mins of running, followed by a minute walk and this was repeated, 5 times over.

Each week, we ran longer, faster, and taking different routes around Grantham.

Some weeks would be uphill, on mud, through small paths, to test your endurance, your breathing control, how you cope going uphill etc.

Depending, if you was to enter a race of somekind, it does not mean that it would be all flat line.
So instead of turning up and struggling, this course helps you learn how to tackle it.

The first 3 weeks, we ran no longer then 5mins at a time, and after the session, i felt amazing to the point i did more, going back home.

after a few weeks the 5k group split into 3 groups, group a which were for people who could do the runs at a faster pace, and the other groups doing a slightly less pace.

We all run differently, and there is no shame in that, some weeks you will feel you can run faster and some you cant, you have to go at your own pace.

Every single person in all 3 groups aims to reach the point of getting to 5k,

On the forth week i was starting to struggle in the faster group, getting a lot of pains, but my feet was also hurting.

I was told that because i do tennis 3-4 times a week, and on days where i also do the running, that i could be doing to much, that my body is telling me to rest.

Going to the gym, was also not helping with my shoulders either, as again i was doing 3-4 times a week.

So while i do the running, i have cut down a day both the gym and the tennis.
I love all 3 things but in life you have to make sacrifices.
otherwise you end up burning yourself out, and doing more harm then good (:

This then ties into the mind of marathon program.
we have our own facebook group where we can comment, things etc.
I noticed someone from the group posted about the program.
It follows a group of people who suffer from mental health, weather that is depression, anxiety and other things.
And helping them each week, to run, to aim to enter the marathon.





Because although, your problems will not magically disappear any form of sport helps with your health, makes you feel happier,it a way to connect with people that can become your friends.

As i mentioned in other blog posts, which we will take depression for example.
It not only affects your brain but your body, saying to yourself or someone saying to you, get over it, just do it, really is the worst thing you can ever say.

If it was that easy, then people would not suffer from it.
For me there are days where, i wont leave the house, i get frustrated and often sit crying for hours because i want to get out, but my body cant even move, it takes all my energy just to get moving so that i can have something to eat.

So do go from that to running, its an incredible achievement.
Its already not a easy task but for the person who suffers from mental health problems it can feel even worse.
After watching this program, it really made me push more with the running, i went to the session feeling like a new person, and i was.

Week 5 saw a massive jump from 8mins of running non stop to 20 mins without a walking period.
Somehow like many of the others in the group, we managed it, it was tough it was brutal, it hurt but after doing it, you feel over the moon, happy, you come away better then when you arrived,

After searching on goggle about the program, i have seen responses saying its helped them talk about their mental health issues.
I wish more people would, its not nothing to feel bad about, plus more people who do not suffer from a problem at the moment need to understand, how those who do, how it affects them.

Their is a lack of funding for mental health, there is a lack of understanding, and doctors need to educate themselves and not to tell people just to get over it !!!!

I explained in a video which you can see here



About how although, i have had the community help me and i have had such wonderful experiences in the last year, its all been me who has gone out their to get them.
I am the one who come out of the comfort zone, to connect with people, to help people.
I am the one who has the drive, out of this world, drive that i say to myself i have to do this.

It has not been easy and often have major set backs, in confidence, feeling i am not worth it, that i can not do it, and that i should give up on everything.
But what breaks us only makes us stronger, and in so many times in my life that has been true.

Its took over a year to get to where i am, the person i am but i am happy with how i have opened up.

I work on my strength and my cardio, to be better in body and mind.
just a few days a go i went to Feel good Fitness Gym in Grantham, went on the watt bike classes that i had not been on in a few days and came away with this result.



 I did do a bit of arm weights, and leg stuff before going on the class so this is my overall result of the time i started to the end.

The class it hard, but the competition side of me comes out, pushing myself to do well.

Going back to the running, 03-05-17 was the biggest test in my life.

Group A was told that, we are going to be going uphill a lot, and instead of 22 mins, its now going to be 30mins.

Not only was the time of running a lot longer, but with the challenge of battling to go uphill.
I struggled a few times because when going off road through woods and it being uphill, your feet all of a sudden feel like a ton, your putting the same effort in but going a lot slower.

My chest was hurting but i pushed through it, and as soon as we was on flatline again i was back at 100 percent.

Some of us also did more mins, worth of running as what we do as a group is, those who are at the front of the pack, after about 10mins in you loop back to the back, so it gives chance for others to catch up and show support.
What this means for the front runners is you cover more ground, because your having to go back to where the others are.

and because somehow, which i still dont believe myself, that the past 3 sessions i have been able to keep upfront, the session the other day, i ended up doing 35mins.
This meant that although we are only half way through the course we almost managed to reach the 5k mark already.
as seen from this image, of a runners watch, which i was next to this person most of the time so i did the same amount.



I felt over the moon when i got back, and saw this posted as i had no idea is was so close to 5k,
it was not only an achievement for many others but for me, as last year when i joined the club, i could not manage 3k,

My latest challenge is a park run event this Saturday In Grantham.
Parkrun is a organisation with events all around the world.
They are free events where you run a course, with loads of people, at the end you get your result, so that you can see how well you have done, and aim to beat it the next time you go.
In Grantham these events are every Saturday, so if i can do it and like it, i will aim to go on more.

If you suffer from mental health then please get in touch, as i like to help and listen, we all stand a better chance of helping each other.

The people who do suffer with this will always understand each other better then those who dont.

I want to thank Grantham Running club for this amazing experience, they are a amazing club, which is only 24 pounds a year to join !!!!!
running, is amazing, it makes you feel alive, and its always better to run with people then by yourself (:

Thank you for reading and i do hope that this post can really help people, try something different and show that your a lot stronger then you think, its all in your brain, and it does not matter how long it takes to do a small thing, at least you have done it !!!! (:

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Grantham Running Club Coach to 5k & 10k 12 week course | Daniel Marshall Adventures

The picture you see above is people starting to turn up outside Grantham Tennis Club, you can clearly spot me being socially awkward on the bench.

It was nice meeting at the first place to make me happy in my life and to  start me on the rest of my journeys.
Even The manager Sarah from Grantham Tennis Club came along to give The sessions a go (:

I turned up really early as i always do with everything, i was soon shocked to see over 80 people turn up i believe there was.

People were split into 2 groups the ones wanting to do the 10k course and the ones doing the 5k.

The idea is over a 12 week period to get people together, get active, be a part of a team, talk to people and aim to reach their desired goal either the 5k or 10k.

I joined Grantham Running Club in the middle of 2016 for 2 reasons.
to get out of the house and to work my way back to becoming just as active as i was 5+years a go.
The price also shocked me as it was around 20 pounds to join not for a month but for a whole year !!!
not only that but you get the following benefits

They are affiliated to the England Athletics (UKA) which means:You get £2 discount for most Road Races.

• Access to all the training sessions.
• You can compete on the Road, at X/C and Multi Terrain events.
• You are covered under ARC's insurance policy for Legal Liability.

 You also get England Athletics Competition License worth £13.00 included

Sadly my depression got on top of me with the fact of joining the club after these sessions were put on meant that i was not fit and it took a lot of motivation to get out the door to join in.
After 3 sessions i decided that the running club was not for me as i could not handle even  3k out of the 5k.

Since then i worked my socks off  with my fitness, my strength my problems and my life.
The start of 2017 saw a new me, beaming with new found motivation, the drive to succeed, building a community around me, making friends, and growing as a person.

So this is why i Re Joined The running club but this time when the sessions are going off so i can work my way up to 5k.

Anyway going back to the day as more people turned up as you can see from the picture below

The group that was doing the 5k course went over to warm up, we did different stretches etc, we then got split into 3 groups with there being a lot of us.

The idea of the session was for all ages and experiences of running, so we would do a minute walking followed by jogging and did that for around 30 minutes.
we did not cover 5k, as with it being the first session, you dont want to push people who have never run before. i think we did around 2-3k if anyone knows how much we did then i will update this blog (:

I hardly talked throughout the session as i was not used to a big group and i wanted to get my head down focusing on the journey ahead.

Overall it was a amazing experience, seeing a community get together in this way is magically.
not only are people wanting to become fit, but its a great way to meet new people as we stand more stronger together then you do by yourself.
You praise each other, you motivate each other and if your talking while running, you will be amazed how quick the session goes but also how much more you managed to achieve (:

This is what Grantham is all about the community and i have been so happy to be a part of it, weather Thats helping at with local causes with photography and videos to being a part of the amazing businesses doing actives.
Grantham is its own place of happiness countryside, amazing businesses and the best community i have ever seen.

I came away from the session feeling very happy, to the point i put on my headphones to walk back home and that turned into jogging most of the way back !!!

I know that with every session as its not just once a week but twice for 12 weeks that it will get harder as we increase the speed of the jog and the distance to reach the 5k and for those who are wanting more the 10k mark.

I am going to put every bit of effort in i can in every session even though Wednesdays will be a test as i go full out with 3-4 of tennis on that day (:

I know i have the strength this year, i am happy with who i am and i have goals i want to fulfill this year.

At the end of the course will be a memorable day as  All participants completing the course will receive a technical t-shirt and celebration BBQ.

I hope by then i can learn to talk to people as the last thing i want is to sit in the corner while everyone is celebrating lol.

I want to thank all the staff for helping put this together, taking their time and effort to help others.

I also want to thank everyone who did decide that it would be better going for a run and being a part of something bigger rather then sitting on the coach watching tv (:

I shall be doing another blog post after the 12 weeks posting about the progress of not only me but the other members who also did the course.

If you want to know more about joining Grantham Running Club 
you can check out their social links below
https://www.facebook.com/GranthamRunningClubhttp://www.granthamrunningclub.co.uk/index.php
https://twitter.com/GranthamRC

if you want to check out what else i get up to you can by these links (:

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Grantham Tennis club Feeling Good again Project |Daniel Marshall Adventures

so back at the end of September Grantham Tennis club got funding from the Lincolnshire NHS Trust to provide a 12 week course.
This ran for 2 hours every Wednesday up till Christmas.
The scheme helped me that much that I have now become a member at the club and is my most happy place in the world !!!

I suffered from depression and anxiety I hardly ever wanted to leave my room.
This scheme has completely turned my life around and turned me into a better person.

The first half of the course you get to start from the basics learning  ball control, backhands,forehands, serves and much more.
then as you get used to the different techniques we got taught to play point scoring games, how to use what we have already learned but in a more advanced way.
While your there every week you get to play mini games and get to know the people who are also on the course as well.
The coaches are always nice, you can have a laugh with them and they are amazing at playing tennis.
When the course had finished at Christmas we got the chance to go to a meal and awards were up for grabs as well as your very own tennis racket.

This is a picture of me holding my ratchet (:

we was told that although the funding has stopped, if we still wanted to come along a payment of 3 pounds was to be paid on a volunteered basis meaning you could pay the 3 pounds if you wanted to, to show support and effort put in to continue the sessions.
since i first started the sessions i have never missed any because i look forward to it so much.
i give it my all every week knowing it only once a week.
the feeling of pushing yourself but having fun and really getting to know people and see their amazing progress is a amazing experience.

Grantham Tennis club gave me the strength to improve my fitness to the point i now go to a gym 4 times a week, soon be joining the local running club and now i am a member at the tennis club, i can go whenever i want (:

so if anyone, feels low, not played tennis before or maybe you have not played it in ages.
I do urge you to come along you dont have to turn up to all of the sessions if you feel its not for you.
just be yourself, you will be surprised how quick you pick up the sport and how quick you get used to talking to the other people and becoming friends (:
The course starts 10th may but the 2 weeks before you can come along and give it a go like a taster session to see if you want to be a part of it.
There will only be limited places to why not give the club a call or pop in to have a word (:

You will also get fresh fruit every session halfway through  to help get back the energy !!!

In my experience its a amazing opportunity that i wished so much that other businesses would open up to try and there would be more funding in place to help.

Being active has not cured my problems but being active and doing what i love has made me stronger to better control how i feel.

and trust me when i say that the 2 hours will fly by so quick that you just wish the next week would be here already !!!

if you have heard of Grantham Tennis club and want to support them please cast your vote here to help get the club more funding to help set up more schemes (:
http://www.ringroselaw.co.uk/grand-idea/vote-now/

summary of what the grand idea is about

At Ringrose Law we are committed to supporting the local community that we work in. Our A Grand Idea scheme was set up to help give something back to the local community where we live and work.

Over the last few years we have supported some fantastic local projects and charities including Children’s Bereavement Centre in Newark, Spalding Rugby Club, Branston village Skate Park and St Andrews Children’s’ Hospice.

In 2017 we will be re-launching A Grand Idea across Lincolnshire and Newark and donating £1,000 each to six different local projects.

if you want to get in contact with the  tennis club you can do below thank you for reading

if you need help with transport please ring the club office on 01476 591391 and mention the feeling good program.

https://clubspark.lta.org.uk/granthamtennisclub
https://twitter.com/GTCManager
https://www.facebook.com/granthamtennisclub

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