Ramblings of a confused man ????/ Recovery college ??? 29-09-17 | Daniel Marshall Adventures

That time again where i was meant to be creative and have ongoing blog posts that need to be done but just do not have that creative spark or drive, been debating weather to write this for nearly 2 hours now !!!!
Its not been a great week at all, and is why i feel i need to write to get my thoughts away.
Before i get into the bad week i wanted to explain about the kinda of good news I got today.

So as some of you may know who reads my blog posts, since 2016 i have battling with the lack of support by the mental health services.
In life, it so ironic that you not told about services that are offered by the same company at the same place you have been going to for other kinds of help !!!!
This week while playing tennis, i got talking to someone about anxiety and about the useless course i was given to me last week a course that i had waited 6 months for !!!!

The course i was given by the mental health services, aka steps to change, was a group  anxiety course.
Now on the letter it did not explain what it entailed, so in my mind i thought it would be like getting to know each other, group activities to help get of the fear of talking to people and being in the room with others ???

As i arrived for my first session, i had to fill out the thing that should be banned which is the stupid so how have you felt over the past 2 weeks with about 12 questions, of a score based between 0-10 !!
To me when you have had a bad week, or even a good week, we as humans do not mark ourselves on score, we often do not put the correct score depending if that week has been good or not.
This then often leads to not getting further help because they base their decision on the stupid score system and oh no if you did not score high you dont get the help you need !!!!

I filled it in but i swear if i get given it again, even if i kick up a fuzz i am not filling one in ever again.
Instead much like my private counseling i have been having that i will explain a little more later on, even they argeed with many people that, it should be banned and the way the trust deals with patience's is very poor.
The private counseler even said that she had enough of following their workings and that talking to someone about their issues and accessing what help is needed is better then asking someone to rate how they feel !!! 

So going back to the talk with someone at the tennis place, they mentioned that at the same place i go to they do recovery courses also known as recovery college.
These are aimed at group interactions, which is what is should be about.
if you want to find out more about it you can here (:
http://www.lpft.nhs.uk/our-services/adult-services/recovery-college

So why on earth after having 12 weeks of counseling, 5 weeks of CBT, did the same trust never ever mention about this !!!!!!! its nuts.
I then was talking about my anxiety to a friend that i went to for a social meet, and they knew about it and gave me the number to ring.
That is what i did i have got an appointment to talk about the courses like a enrollment, does not mean that the 18th October i have this that i will get instant help.
As they run a lot of different taster courses and core courses, from understanding stress, aniexty and a lot lot more !!! something that i have been wanting this whole time (: here is a little brief write up of a section of a email i just got explaining about the courses.
Your enrolment at the College will last one year. The College runs on a three term academic year. During the first two terms we recommend you taking a mixture of ‘taster sessions’ and ‘core sessions. In your final term, to prepare you for leaving the College, we would recommend you take our ‘moving on’ courses. At enrolment we would make sure you are not overwhelming yourself by taking too many courses, therefore, we would advise a maximum of eight courses during the academic year.

all courses are free, you dont need to bring ID, or anything with you, and i believe as long as they dont overlap your allowed to go onto as many as you can.

I do suffer with both depression and anxiety, and with having private counselling just from the last month, has helped more then the time i have had with the trust.
I was told by the trust 2 months a go when i got a phone call about the anxiety course, that i do seemed to suffer from aniexty the most and i cant say i do i think both are just as bad as each other.

So i am really helping that this recovery college will be the next steps to make me a much more confident person (:
Anxiety is a big problem for me on top of being really shy to meet new people and talk to people.
Unless i am talking about my photography, things i am passionate about or even having a common intrest with that person, i am a totally different person and just struggle coping with making conversation.

Over the past year i have tried as much as possible to force myself out of my comfort zone.
Weather that is meeting with a group of people, to even going to local music gigs.
Most of the time at music gigs i end up leaving due to a overwhelming about of people near me.
In group meets i seem to latch onto one person to talk to as trying to talk to different people just makes me feel on edge, my heart races, i get into a panicked state and just want to leave.

From experience of that i now know that group meetings are just not my thing, the last few months i tried to challenge myself to going to a local social event held once a month in Grantham at a wonderful place.
I have been there 3 times and everytime i just sit there quiet, looking awkward, Its been good going though as i met another photographer, and someone who passed on the details of the counselor i am seeing now (: 
Its often frustrating though, as i dont want to be like that, i dont want to have the need of people coming to me to start the convo, or seeing me quiet and talking.
What i want is when i go to group meetings, is to go in feeling confident, start a talking point off, then go talk to someone else and make friends, yet something just wont snap to make that possible.
Even everyday life i am the same, I love playing tennis, and expect for someone talking to me again starting a talking point off. I often find myself to focused on my tennis then being social.
At the gym, i have got better at talking but still will avoid the chance to meet new people and just focus on what i am doing.
I just seem incapable of talking, a lot of people say what you complain about  just go and do it !!
like der that is what i am trying to do, those people do not know how hard and how taxing it is on yourself pushing yourself out of your comfort zone sometimes it can make you feel worse because of the pressure of having someone telling you just to do it.

I think a lot of people do not know this side of me because i am mostly known as the man with a camera.
I use that to have my confidence and through that i seem to be able to network with people and even talk, its nuts how much of a different person i am just with a camera in my hand (:

Now i will go into the past few weeks and why the last week had been my worst in a long while.
Every week i have meetings with the counselor, talking about my past, my emotions etc.
Every week, for about a hour i feel drained at the end because when you drag so much history up, that you have buried then it impacts not only your mind but your body.
After that though i feel pumped for the day so getting things of my chest really helps.

2 weeks a go I was talking about my photography and what i do for the community,
and she mentioned when was the last time you just went out and took photos for yourself, exploring and capturing what you see.
I said to not in a while, because its been so business and event based, which is nothing wrong with that, but obvious it can be very tiring and demanding.

I took on board what she said and the next day went out for a wonderful walk, i often go by the saying everything happends for a reason, and its true.
In that moment of exploring lead me to enter a photography competition, which was for the Lincolnshire Rivers trust, they loved my photo so much that it was used on Facebook as their cover for the event coming up in Grantham (:
That week started off great because I was in the Journal about my work, only a few days before.
Sadly by the end of the week things went downhill very fast.
Friday 22nd, started epic as i played my best tennis ever, was really happy.
Got home had a shower, something to eat, then a few hours later started to feel strange.
This feeling was not new as Because i have suffered so long i have this sense that i do not feel right, like i am not sad or upset but now really happy either.

By 6pm i had set myself a plan, as i was going to see a local music artist, I started listening to music, and then just after 7.30pm, I could hear shouting over the music.
So I looked outside to see people shouting at each other, and then 5 mins later Police car turning up.
This of course put me on edge a little, even though, it was nothing to do with me, and my brain should not be stupid to get worked up, it did.
I was late leaving due to wanting to wait till it had quieten down, which made me walk faster in my highten state .

I got there, and settled myself thinking right i got my camera to take photos and enjoy a wonderful night, yeah that did not happen.
I could not get comfty, again i did not feel sad but i did not feel really happy either.
After the artist said he was taking a small break, i decided to leave.
Walking back i suddenly without thinking of anything got upset, felt panicked, just being a total idiot.

I got back and for i think 20 Minutes, just sat there about to cry not doing anything.
brushed it aside and started editing the photos i managed to take hoping the next day will be better.
I had managed to dead sleep, where you feel like you have had tons more sleep then you have, which often you will have a headache, feel dizzy, hot, and just do not want to get out of bed.
I set my alarm for 9am and just switched it off, and re woke at 10am.
My body struggled to move but i know i wanted to play tennis later on that day.
90 percent of the time tennis with it being my happy place, snaps me out of it, but there are days where again it makes you feel worser.
That is what happened as, to say i am very physical fit, and no not in looks wise haha but like my speed etc, i just could not move my feet, i could not play at all, it was like i had forgotten how to do anything.

Of course this lead me to feel annoyed at myself, not having good games and making me feel crap about myself walking back home.

I knew i had other stuff to do throughout the day like writing 2 blog posts, one still not being done as i write this one !!!
I had no creativity, and that whole evening was spent in my bed watching shows and feeling awful.
The next morning i felt the same as the other night with dead sleeping again.
A few hours after waking up, i knew i needed to go out as the event for the photography competition was on.
I was glad i went as it cheered me up, with seeing loads of cats on the way back and taking photos of them (:
overall i was not back to normal but i felt a bit better, it did not last long as for the 3rd night i felt like i had more sleep then i did.
For most of Monday, was spent in bed, did not even go to tennis as seeing the counselor again was changed to a Tuesday for that week.

I did have something to look forward to which was doing Cardio at the gym in the evening.
This lead to more being annoyed at myself as i could not push myself as hard as i had been doing.
for some reason my mental state was really affecting my physical body a lot.
Tuesday was a better day, only because of talking about things again, i was now feeling 90percent better !!

The next day was tennis, and i did a bit better, but by the end i felt rubbish again, and did nothing else after that until the evening for more cardio which again was not getting the results i was used to.
This time I had managed to lock my legs and cause a lot of pain, which of course i felt miserable again, ahhh !!!

This leads me onto the last 2 days , expect for last night, I had nearly dead sleeped for a week !!!
all week i had not had the drive i was used to, as mentioned towards the start, was the group meeting, and i mostly talked to the one person i had known from other meets, plus i was still not feeling my usual self.
Today was just a miss match of feelings, as 1 opportunity i had was gone, and another re arranged so my plans for the day changed.
I went to play tennis, and once again, i just fell apart, would not be as bad if i was making wrong decisions like we all sometimes do with anything in life.
its when your body does not want to move, your coordination skills go out the window and you just feel like why am i even bothering anymore.
This week has just been horrible, not because of the things i have done but because i have not been able to control how i have been feeling which had then had a negative impact on doing those things.

I have tried to relax and let the day go and hope for a better day that did not work, i tried taking a good grip on reality and that had the same results.
I just do not know at the moment why i feel the way i do, as i should be happy, my photography is going places, so why i am not happy ???
I just feel so confused right now, lost in my own thoughts.
I miss so much in life because i either leave early, i do not bother going, and when i do my social skills are nothing, i want to experience so much more in life and yet how can i even be accepted because of my mental health, how can i do these things when, i can not stay ??? AHH !!!!!

I think for now i have written enough as this has took 2 hours out of my day not that i am doing anything with it lol.
For me i try to always improve on things, and push myself its just so how when the demons are fighting back harder and harder every month, like the more i achieve the stronger they get.

When i have more details over the course at the recovery college, i shall do a update post but for now i just somehow need to snap myself out of what ever the heck is going off with me at the moment (:
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My Creative spark A year later !!! | Daniel Marshall Adventures

when i first decided that i wanted to blog about things, i had made a post about My photography and what it meant to me at the time, a lot has changed over the last year so i thought i would fill you in (:

In June 2016, I got funding from the Princes Trust After putting a business plan Together which was to create video content for businesses.

Before i got the funding, i had met someone to work on the plan, and branding, At the time i did not have a camera and i had to make do with what i had which was a Ipad Mini.

Even though i wanted to start a business up, i had no idea about a lot of things.Instead of learning about how to make videos to a professional standard, how to be a director in the sense of getting the clients to remember what they needed to say and even say stop if i felt it was not a good take, i knew none of this !!! i went into the deep end, having to get advice from people and self teach myself.

Putting the plan together was a nightmare, creating daft copies after draft, having to put long terms and short team goals, how would i market myself and things like that this often put a lot of stress on me and caused my depression to be really bad.
The finished product was a shirt with my branding, business cards and over 30 pages of a plan.

as you can see from the picture above.
Using the Ipad was so stressful as the tripod i had to fit a Ipad never seemed tall enough, so it was often put on boxes, I met with a business client to do a test video for their business
The whole process did not go great, the video went on Youtube Under private for months as the client was not happy with it and then i delete to get rid off all the footage ): as i was not happy with it either.

It was then i Realized that i was going to really struggle at the whole Business video approach and decided a few months later that running a business is not what i wanted anymore.
I had a lot of trouble of My website as me and the person creating it has different ideas and well we did not get on, someone else took on the website but this person could not grasp the concept that it needs to be modern and putting on a image from google images of Grantham was just not acceptable!!!
So the website that was known as Danmediaproductions.co.uk is no longer there.

As i now had my camera from the Funding i used it as a way out of the house, as that was the place that was causing me to become more depressed.
I started Making Vlogs which i had made in the past but this time talking about my issues and what i had been up to, i guess it was another way of trying to make myself feel better and put myself in a better frame of mind to get on with the day.
Most of the time these vlogs were filmed around Grantham, but the one i love the most is when I traveled to Lincoln to meet a group of people for a day out and met a local musician, I loved Lincoln because of the views of the water near the city Centre and of course steep hill which i had to walk up plus a hour from there in order to get to the pub where i was meeting the people (:
I enjoyed putting together the video after and its a great memory to look back in fact i have not been to Lincoln since that day ):


Back then my photography was not great either because i had no idea what settings to use combined with using a really awful editing program which at the time i thought it was great.
This program was called lightzone which was supposed to be like lightroom but instead made the pictures ultra small in size and look rubbish.

So i just kept learning, both with video production and photography in hopes something would click.
in August 2016 I had popped down to the local food bank, as i was in need of some help,
it was there i had met someone who worked there and was learning photography to,

We chatted and really got on (: I was then talking to Brian about what i wanted to do as a business, as we talked about creating a video for the food bank.


The first proper makings of putting a video Together and it did not go well, i told Brian this and tried again this time much better, so i created a few more about the team, and one other video (:

After that I noticed a protest going off to do with the closure of the Grantham A & E so i marched with them as well as quickly taking photos and putting a video Together of the day.


My Facebook went mad, with over 1,000 likes on my photos even though they were to me not amazing quality and the video was getting a lot of attention as well, this was when i knew i could still help my local community as a hobby instead (:

From that moment i started working on connecting with people and creating networking opportunities.

In December Sarah Stock was running for a campaign in Sleaford and asked if i could Film the whole conference, which was a good day out to support her and also help out, one to add to my portfolio.

I got the chance to watch a Lincolnshire County Council Meeting also in December, and then until the end of February 2017 The video making front went quiet.
I did not feel in a great place in my mind, and was not enjoying making them, so instead i focused more on learning photography, and working on my physical health as well.


The problem i have is i like to be creative, i like to explore and dabble into different things.
I love making music to and i was using my video skills to try and make visual music videos.
This took hours and days of watching videos on how to do certain things and waiting nearly half a day for the video to export !!!

In those 2 months i had not uploaded any video content, i was still trying to latch onto the idea that i could make videos for businesses.
I know the layout of how i want the video to go, but filming it and learning what effects you want is 2 different things.

So when you have the love of playing tennis and wanting to come up with a amazing creative video for that business, and just crumble under the pressure it really affects your thinking.
this was a intro i had made for the video at the time (:


I knew then that being a video producer just was not what i wanted to do anymore, so i looked around to see of any way of studying more about photography.
I was in look at Grantham college was having a min courses, which was a photography club once a month, and Photoshop lessons once a week !!!

Learning about what settings to use on the camera and learning how to edit photography was really paying off, i was noticing how much clearer my photos were and that photography i managed to capture of Nottingham last year was looking so much nicer and to this date love 2 photos i managed to make look amazing as you can see below (:


The need to try and be part of a community but also still make videos was urging to come out, so that is what i did another march to save Grantham A &E went off, this time wanting to put a better video together, the video did good but once again the photography was doing so much better !!

From that point is when my photography really took off, and i connected more and more with the community (:

The following week saw the biggest task at hand and a totally new experience for me, which pushed my anxiety levels to the max, as i was surrounded by nearly 250,000 people.

This was Going to London, to save our NHS !!!!!! Because i had got involved with the campaigning locally, i was asked to come with to march in London.

I knew my laptop was not great with battery left using editing programs but i still brought it with me, to edit Sarah Stock as she pumped up the bus journey and to transfer over 200 pictures and tons !!!! of video clips taken throughout the day of the march.
Between having a heavy backpack, my laptop, and holding now and then protest signs it made me so tired by the end.

Ive said it before but video production is not a easy job, you have to sort through all the clips to see which ones you will use, edit them, put graphics in, check levels etc, wait for it to export, upload it with good information about the video, share it to different sources, all that just for one video haha, and i had done 5 or 6 i think, on top of sorting through 200 photos to edit !!!

Again the community loved my pictures and again i knew that sticking to photography was my little niche (:

As well as improving my photography i was working on, networking with people and seeing what other ways i could help my community.
So i created a twitter called helping lincolnshire, where i could tweet and retweet anything to with events, posts that businesses had post etc just another source for people to find out whats going on around Lincolnshire !!!

If its not not being asked By ITV to use my photos of the marches in Grantham, then its using how open i am about my mental health and to also promote a good cause on the radio !!!

I had been working a lot on my physical health playing tennis, but also creating blogs about the scheme the tennis club had put on, I got asked to go on Gravity Fm, and then a week later, to BBC Radio Lincolnshire, this was again another step forward in my life using my skills !!

For me what i love about being creative is i take what i do in everyday life, like playing sports, going to the gym and make something more out of it that will help people !!!
I have already done a blog post about the gym i go to so i will not go into to much detail, but i used my photography and social media marketing skills to help them out (:

Another achievement for me was still not wanting to give up creating video but now looking at it from a different perspective, which was covering events.

This being only a few days after going on the radio so it was all happening so fast.
In April 2017 it was St Georges day In Grantham, with lots of stalls, Parades, Dancing and much more going off.




A Group called Octovox was Performing and i feel in love with them as they style was acapella,
and reminded me so much of pentatonix (:
After the day had finished i worked hard on editing the photos first, and then i made a video of just them singing, and a video about the Parade, using Octovox singing as the background hehe (:

I dont claim to be a expert at video production and i know my video making skills need to improve a lot, but as i mentioned above photography is more my passion.

I kept challenging myself to take the same photos every few months around Grantham, but to always improve.
One night it was really nice so i decided to take a small stroll around the town, I noticed the colorful sign of a betting shop and wanted to experiment with the picture when i got back home as you can see above.

One thing i know how to do is get the photos out there, to as many facebook groups, on twitter, instagram etc so again when you think of anything media related there is always much more work to it that people do not see, they just see the end result being the video, pictures etc (:

In may i wanted to challenge my aniexty but also expand my skills into seeing live bands around Grantham, and capturing it.
I love music and always will, even while i write this i am listening to music haha.
The first band i went to see Under the covers, I had brought my camera with me because i wanted to do if i could cope, sadly it got to much for me and left a hour in.
I wrote a blog post about seeing them though, which in fair was a short blog, but it seemed to do really well better then anything i had written at that time.

I forced myself to see more bands and even connecting with the guy who runs the scene who was also a photographer (:
Being able to connect with people gives you so much more insight into their lives but also you get to help each other.
I think the biggest life changing event in terms of my media skills has been meeting CJ Hatt



I really got on well with the guy, and he really liked me making videos of him performing and my photography so much that a few months later, i am going in the car with him to 2 events he played, getting a insight into a musicians life and keeps saying i am his official photographer hehe (:

Although that change in my life has set things in motion, i think for me my achievement in terms of video production  skills has to be when i covered a fun day a few months back at Dysart park in Grantham !!!!

I had decided the day before to do some Re-branding with watermarks both with photography and on the videos i made, which really worked a treat (:

I was at the event most of the day, and i think i walk around all the stalls and what was going off at least 10 times, trying to capture the best spots but to also make sure i was not missing something like the dog show as you can see with the picture above and below.

I had edited over 50 pictures, and now it was time for the video editing to start,
with events you need to put a good video together but its also time based, as the later you post it the less attention it will draw and well it was needed to be up quick for a reason that i did not even know of at the time.

With the video i wanted to create the theme of it being fun, since that was the meaning of the event.
The music i used with it worked like magic and i also added a comedy side to things towards the end.
Hannah who worked for the Fun day team, loved the video and photography, that she asked me if i could do my very first editorial for Grantham Matters, which they posted along with my work !!!
So you see if i had posted the video a week later and really nick picked at very little detail to maybe make the video better it would not have got the fame it did !!!! everything happens for a reason is my motto i live by (:

my biggest achievement though overall since starting my media Journey was being asked questions for the Journal and having a whole page about, where i came from and why i do what i do to help the local community !!!!
this last few weeks as been a lot of achievements as I had put a lot of photos together with a blog post about how Feel Good Fitness In Grantham has helped me so much, which got shared onto their page and a lot of people loved it (:
To entering my first photography competition for World Rivers day
 

I have my wonderful Counselor to thank who i had been seeing for a few weeks now, we talked about a lot of things, inc that i do a lot for the community, but not a lot just for myself, like going for walks and capturing the wonderful place of Grantham, something i had not done in so long because of still loving photography but it was more event based then inspired based !!!

The team who runs the rivers day loved my photo and used as their cover for the event.
On top of that when i went to the event, I was asked to be in a photo with others to be used in a upcoming Journal newspaper so fingers crossed its in there haha.

One of the things i love about being creative is stopping doing one creative thing to do another and things turning out great.
While i was writing about The London Experience, i wanted to go through and create black and white versions, in the past i never bothered with the concept as, black and white photography was not my thing, but the more i started to explore and love photography, the more i liked looking and creating them.




with making black and white photography, its not as simple as hitting the filter and hey you have it.
for me i like going into the filter, fine tune little bits, maybe make the sky a bit brighter, or for example on the picture above the sign saying no cuts more visible (:


For black and white i even start experimenting with shots taken in Grantham of just normal day life, but in a kind of Darker way as seen below (:


So overall its been a big year for me, My media targets may not have been hit to what i wanted to set out and achieve but with taking steps to push through my depression and aniexty, i have connected with the community, and i have achieved things i could never dream off !!!

I honestly can not even think where life will take me next, I just live each day as it comes, pay attention to what is going off in the world and try and help (:
if i can help just one person or one business, and put a smile on their faces then i am happy.
I dont make a living for this and do not see it in the future its just something i really love doing !!!

So there you have it sorry for the small pictures as, i cant seem to get a hang of using other sites, for now i keep blogging on blogger (:
If you would like to see full size photography of my work,
then please follow me on the links below and have a great..... day

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  https://twitter.com/DanMediaP

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https://twitter.com/DanielMVlogs

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http://dannytheexplorer.tumblr.com/

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Feel Good Fitness Grantham A year In the Making | Daniel Marshall Adventures

In this blog post you will get to understand why Feel Good Fitness has changed my life, why the business is so good and how i went from being really weak, to making a life for myself (:

Also the pictures in this post is a collection from images the gym staff took, England's Finest photography and some of my own took by my friends and edited by me, links will be at the end of this post (:

Its truly amazing how fast a year can fly by but more importantly how much your life can change in that time !!!!!!!

When i left school, which was In Nottingham i was 18, I went to a local leisure center  and i became super active, doing football, badminton and basketball every week, after a few months i started to fit gym in once a week as well.

Although i went to the gym, to be honest i never really put a lot of effort into it and half the time did not know what i was doing, so i stopped going.

this is me when i was 19, trying to act cool and a time when i first started wearing jeans lol

When i was 20 I moved to Grantham, over time i cut down a lot of sports, going for walks and i think i only ever went to a gym 3 times over the course of 5 years !!!!!

I became very weak, which even i laugh at this because i struggled to carry very light weight shopping, my stamina was poor, walking over a hour somewhere made me feel drained, hard to breathe, overall my physical condition needed to change so that is what i did when i joined Feel Good fitness In September 2016, The place being located in the George center In Grantham



A few weeks before I joined I had just started on a Tennis Project at Grantham Tennis club,  It was when i was walking through town to get there i noticed a flyer for the gym advertising a discount membership for 12.99 a month !!!!

I went for a introduction to sort paper work out but to also get a feel for the gym and how the equipment worked.

At this point in my life i had no friends, i was very anxious to workout with others being there and for about a month i only used a few machines as i kept forgetting how to use them, and did not want to be a burden on the staff.
In that month i remember mostly doing cardio, and oddly enough the treadmill which i hated in the past due to my feet not moving in the right way,  i somehow managed to get on with it and loved using it.

After a few months of Joining i was noticing a very small difference with the strength in my arms and the cardio as well as tennis was really helping with my speed and stamina.

I decided that in order to make the most out of my membership but also make the most of going to gym to improve was to find someone who also went there and could help me.
After searching for nearly a month I managed to find someone who to this today is not only my friend but my best friend (:  the incredible Lee Symons

In December my new partner in crime, mentioned he was just starting a new workout pattern that he wanted to get used to for a few weeks and then i would be ok to join him (:

So That is what i did at the very start of 2017, mince pies ate, indulging myself over, this  meant putting on weight, so as well as burning it off it was time to focus what mattered which was turning my life around (:

Of course with never sticking to a workout plan because i did not use much equipment, i was not expecting such a long and painful session.
me and lee got on well from the get go, talking about Video games a lot haha and just having fun while he was helping me get to grips with holding things. For the first few times of training using the bench press, max rack and the Cable Machine i started off with no weight as, i have a issue where quite a lot my body does not want to do what my brain is telling it, i can be shown how to do something and understand really well but come to do the thing i need to do and suddenly my body forgets how to.

After a few weeks of slowly starting to add weights on and using other equipment, the muscles started to show and i felt stronger as you can see via the picture below which was towards the end of January 2017
just from one month of working out with lee i could already feel the difference in being able to carry more shopping, i would go home in pain after the session but often still feeling pumped wanting to do more physical activities.

Then i had to have a week off due to a massive pain down my shoulder this is called a tear in your muscles. This is a normal thing as your body is trying to cope with the added weight and also using parts of your body that are weaker or you do not use as much, it will tear and hurt and then re build for it to become stronger (:

In February saw Helen take over as manager for the place and with me now focusing on trying to become stronger but also build my self confidence up, i decided to try and talk to more people around the gym inc the staff who now i have really bonded with and always keep pushing me to achieve more but to also create some amazing experiences that i can look back on.

which i will go into detail more later on !!!

At this point i was going to gym around 3-4 times a week, with having the off day some weeks due to starting a mini course learning about photography at Grantham College.

I had also Joined The tennis club which meant that some days going to the gym in the evening i was pushing less then what i normally do.
If you think it hurts when pushing up weights then try as much as possible to never have a week off as you find it will take a few sessions to be able to lift the same amount of weight again !!!

You know you have a awesome friend who can see you really struggling and can see your trying and wants to help out.
My grip has never been great, so when i start using the Lat pull down on very low weight i think around 20-30 it was literary ripping into my hands, i would get these massive lumps at the bottom of my fingers which would take nearly a week to heal.



As you can see from the picture above my friend brought me gloves and i tell you what it shows when you take away the pain how much more you can lift, I returned to the Lap pull downs a few weeks later and was now pushing 40-45kg


This then helped with using the max Rack to do shrugs and swats and oh boy was it a laugh trying to train my body to do them.

next to the max rack you have weight bags as you can  see from the image above that are  different amounts in weights.
My friend suggested since i could not do swats on the max rack to try with these.
Lets just say i spent more time laughing with my friend because i could not do it.
Another idea was to train my body to swat by having a bench behind me so when i get to the bottom of the swat i can get my body to be straight again to push the weight back up.
Over time this worked and now i can do swats no problem (:



Often if the staff are doing there best to help and have a laugh with you, they are working hard on their own training, which makes working out just a lot less painful because you can relax and just talk about your day but also you have targets to aim for because in your head your like well if the staff can push hard and get results then so can i !!!

In march I was completely overwhelmed, One day while i was working out with Lee, Kinga who you can see in the picture above, came over and said we all think you have done an amazing job to be where you are now, you train hard and that is what we like to see, so here is your very own  My Zone belt !!!!
I can tell you that this belt has changed my life, made me break records and really give me strength that i did not know, all this from a belt, how!!! ???  well i explain a bit about it right now and later on (:



 When you put it on it will bleep to say its on, you cant really see it but behind me in the picture is a live board, while you workout you can see how well your pushing.

Its not just to use while at the gym, if you download the app, you can use it on the go (:
so once you have done a session, you will get a email letting you know your results, or you can sign into the website to check there as well.

As you can see from the picture above this was the results of using the belt for the first time, i did a bit of cardio but mostly the session was using weights.

you will find that your overall effort is not something to really worry about unless your doing a lot of cardio, Its common sense that if your not running that your average will be low.

while you workout you will see your percentage go up and down depending how hard your pushing, they are even  colored sections to show you, for example red being between 90 percent and 100, yellow being between 80-90 and so on.

So as well as working out, there are often challenges on the wall each month with the winner getting a prize (:

The gym had just got a new set of equipment called watt bikes, and the challenge of the month was who could get the fastest speed in just 6 seconds,

I challenged my friend to it who aced it while i was struggling to get my feet to stay in the pedals and did not do great.

I do not have a picture of me doing the challenge so here is a picture of my friend working out from around 5 months a go.


I have a annoying habit that i love taking photos, even of myself but if someone else wants to take my picture i get all shy and try to escape haha, i never know how to pose, yet i am such a poser when taking pictures of myself, odd that isn't it (:



I noticed a post that the gym had posted on social media about a Watt bike class as every week they have different classes on, from doing workouts with weights, circuits and much more.

A lovely happy bunch after one of the classes (:


The session was based using the belt to track what zone you had to be in, so in a 30 Minute session on a selected workout you would be given around 2-3 minutes to warm up on the bike, and then aiming to hit the yellow and red sections, each workout session being different as some can be your in the red for 2 minutes, then yellow, now to black which is slow down and recover and then back up to yellow etc.
The first few times of using the bikes i hated, i was struggling to hit the red zone, i would leave before the session had ended due to the seat hurting my bum haha.
as with most things, you just have to wear it in and get used to it, and soon became addicted to going on even more watt bikes classes.

One day while i was working out by myself i noticed England's finest photography taking photos of the gym, and i have to say came out with incredible results as seen above
so a few weeks later i had a chat with Helen as i wanted to take some of my own, this was good timing as they was about to create leaflets with a limited time offer of a discounted price to join.

Helen took most of the pictures and then i edited them, and i love how this photo turned out, which looked even better when it was on the leaflet (:

This was the result of the first time i did just the watt bike and nothing else my stats were not great but hey what do you expect when your not used to it haha


Another issue i had which was funny at the time was the using the dip assist Machine


as seen in the picture you have a seat where you grab onto the handles above put your knees on the seat, and use your body to push down and back to the top,
I believe with this machine the weights are reversed so the lower the weight the more it adds on (;
It was on 60 and i kept getting stuck at the bottom not being able to have the strength to push back up.
It caused a lot of pain, because i could not use it, i gave up trying.
That was until months of pushing my weights up i decided to give it another go and did it with easy and now i push with the weight sometimes at 45-50 (:

Before i carry on, toward the end of the post i will be showing you a comparison of what my weights were when i first started using machines to what i can push now (:

Now that i was used to pushing my own weight, i decided to take on another of the gyms monthly challenges

https://www.facebook.com/FeelgoodGrantham/videos/10155137804165569/ 

This was called hang tough, and yes as you can see from the video link above,if you copy that into your web browser you can see me and other in action (:  i still was using gloves at that point as the more weight i was lifting the more it would hurt my hands.

I did not do to bad but again first time doing it and its more a brain game then anything, trying to push your pain barrier up to keep hanging on !!!


The winner got some fitness scales as seen in the picture above as no i dont believe it was the staff that won them haha this picture was mainly a post advertising the challenge.

Again i had to have another week off  training as this time i had recently Joined Grantham Running club, and with doing tennis, running and gym, i had pulled something all done one leg.
The harder you train you will always have that risk factor as well, like a few days a go on twitter it was mentioning about Andy Murray having to take time off to rest, we all do it our body can not survive everything we throw at it !!!

My Favorite saying is what breaks us only makes us stronger and time after time i prove that with beating targets.



I think around July time I decided to come up with a silly rap song as i love making music, about its all about that fitness and the protein (:
When you walk into the gym they have a wonderful display of proteins, shakes, protein bars in all kinds of very yummy flavors. I think the whole time i have been at the gym, i have only brought one thing, whoops !!! For me i do eat to much junk food and chocolate, what can i say i have a extreme case of a sweet tooth (:
I can lift a fair bit of weight but i know if i sorted my diet out and had more protein in my system that i would be able to recover faster and build more muscle but hey that is just me haha.
I dont go to get a six pack or get ripped as the saying goes, but just so i can have more strength and become faster, which as i carry on writing you will see that !!!

Thanks to everyone helping me gain more confidence i was now starting to create some kind of routine to my week to fit everything in, this meant  some days i trained by myself.

I am now able to push more weight on my own then when i first started but i am still unable to push as hard as when i am training with my friends, its amazing how much more weight or even more reps you can push when you have a spotter but more importantly someone that knows you can push more with that little encouragement (:

Speaking of friends, in the last few months i have managed to make even more a lovely chap by the name of Adam who can be cruel to be kind, again doing different workouts to what lee was doing.
like with everything in life we all train in different ways and its nice to mix things up every now and then event if your friends are trying to kill you haha.
when going to the gym, its now a whole different experience i have trained with a few different people, but more then training its creating those awesome bonds that when you open the door to enter the gym, people want to chat to you, which is the best feeling in the world !!!

Its the fun memories that you cherish the most, and these next ones will never be forgotten !!!

Thats right its challenge time once again, this time being how fast can you get to 500 meters with the rowing machine, competition only fuels my desire to do well so of course i challenged my friend again (:

Its show you have a good connection with the staff when only the one and only Helen wanted to also join in, and well i think she did not expect me and lee to push so hard, i think the picture speaks how she felt at the end haha !!!
if you would like to see a small clip of us in action then copy this link (:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BWIqq1CBx_b/?taken-by=granthamfeelgood

If you think the good times stop there you will be mistaken !!!!
as it was time for round 2 to aim to beat lee with him again being faster then me even though he says he hates the rowing, seem to do a pretty fast pace lee !!!!!
what happened in round 2 got me and Kinga laughing so much, she was keeping track of time and well keep tracking off lee from taking off into space (:
as soon as we started his machine was moving so much, what did you eat that day buddy (: so poor kinga how to hold the bottom of it to keep it still and even then it was moving.
I could not stop laughing and watching what was going off that i completely fell off mine
I had one leg on the seat my body all lob sided and could not move, i felt so embarrassed, i just laughed my socks off, got back on and we all rest and restarted, yet again it started moving, and i just did not have the patience to focus on my own machine because of still gigging, that is how you create memories !!!!!

Continuing  on what makes a gym more then a gym is the nice surprises staff give to each other.
It was Kinga's  Birthday and while being there to train, Helen and other staff was hiding a cake and getting things ready, music went off, happy birthday song came on and out came the most yummy and cool cake i have ever seen, its just nice to see that the staff look after each other in style (:

Getting back to the weights, and slowly coming to a end of this blog as i could write and write just so many good times and memories (:

Training with Adam one day and man did i feel it the next day, one of the workouts was to lift out a high weight and then without no rest, keeping dropping the weights down and down.

You would think well that sounds easy as your lifting a lot less, if you think its easy your doing something wrong haha.

I can not really explain what it does to your body, but suddenly because you done lets say 10 reps at a high weight you have given everything you got, and although the first 3-4 reps of the low weight may be so easy, you then suddenly get a lot of pain and just can not push its madness !!!

Now we are in the last few weeks of August i knew i wanted to write this post but to also have awesome pictures of me working out to show, but also again to create memories

I do not know if its mainly a male trait but whenever there is a need to showcase what i can do i push even harder so it can show in the pictures haha, i got the lovely Adam and lee to take pictures with my camera and then i went through and edited them, and i am over the moon how they turned out (:

Here is a few pictures of my friends since they was helping out i wanted to catch them hard at work (:



Both of my friends also push each other, and i egg them on as well its just a bit of fun to make it hurt a lot less !!!

 

 As i was pushing so hard with everything i again pulled something on my arm, so i went into the gym after playing tennis to have a word with Sam, who is a personal trainer, but works on physical therapy, often creating videos on tips how to help ease pain on areas, he also helps with dieting as well. he showed me some different stretches with a kind of band thing to work on pulling the top of my chest and my shoulders so what ever the pain was it would help it go away (:



It shows how much more i can keep going when i beat record after record every week in the watt bike class

As i mentioned way above yes this post has been that long i am so sorry lol, i like to aim to always improve, the week before September started i managed to reach a peak heart rate of 188 and reached 100 percent in the zone for the first time ever.
On 6th September it was my birthday i chose to spend it doing what i loved which was playing tennis, i really enjoyed myself, had a nice rest and a meal and then off it was for the watt bike class.

As i was waiting to start the class i knew kinga was up to something by the way she acted and talked haha, no one can ever surprise me when it comes to giving me something, ok they might surprise me with what it is but i also know when something is going off (:

I was given a paper with me using the watt bikes, with happy birthday from the team !!!
to some that may seem small but its the little things that you often appreciate more and of course i loved it, the surprises did not stop there though.

One of things i love while i am at the gym and even more say when doing the classes is the killer selection of music, because i love making music and listen to it way to much, it always puts me in the mood and i always achieve higher results working out to music !!!
so when a killer remix of a dance version of happy birthday comes on and Kinga mentioned it was my birthday i tried to hide the blushing haha and just felt even more pumped.

 

yes you are seeing that right 190 heart rate !!!!!!!  i was on fire i loved the class so much i only went and booked to go again the next day as well, i not only reached 190 again but 2 times and 100 percent 3 times, although after ever class it takes nearly half a hour for the adrenaline in my system to go, which often leaves me feeling dizzy and hardly talking but that is what happens when you have the drive to keep pushing and wanting to aim higher and higher.
Kinga is tough on me just like my friends but its the right kind of tough, with working out, the battle is mostly in your brain, your body is so strong and until you get your mind on the same track you will never be able to get results, so because of them its how i have managed to change my life in just the space of a year !!!!! its madness how fast it goes but how much you grow as a person in confidence without even knowing it.

  

This machine oh boy its called a peck deck you can do many different things on it and it really pulls on your shoulders, another one i hated when first using it but now i challenge myself to put the weight up again and again (:

Oh gosh i suppose i better wrap things up, with the biggest thank you in the world to everyone at the gym, who has helped me, people say Grantham is a rubbish place, i say it may be small but it has the nicest people in the world and its because of that why my life is just that great !!!
Even though i was super active when i left school, i was never strong, now i am even more active then i was then and i have the strength to match !!!!!

It may not be a 24 hour gym like a lot of gyms now days but it does not need to be, i feel the bigger a company tries to be or have tons of outlets in different places to me it loses what matters which is the experience of making friends and having a blast while getting stronger !!!!

I hope this blog understands that results will not come straight away but find the right gym, the right people and a willingness to do great and your at a winner (:
Below will be a list of where i started on different weights to where i am now i will not be putting everything down because there a lot to list, this then will be followed by social links to the gym, and others bit, again thank you for reading !!!!!!

• Bicep curl started on 10kg can push to 60 on my own and 90kg with friends
• plate loaded shoulder  press started recently and can do 15kg
• seated row started on 15kg can now do 60 on my own and when pushed can reach 105kg
• chest press started on 15kg on own can do 45kg and when pushed do 60kg
• cable machine started on no weight due to my arms not keeping straight and now can do 20kg i only do this with someone is there
•  max rack, shrugs started on 5kg now can do 20kg, i do not use the max rack on my own.
• max rack swats started on nothing, now can do 15kg  
• lat pulled down was the thing that ripped my hands, now i do not even use my gloves for anything and can lift 60kg on my own, when pushed 90kg
• seated leg press started on 75 on my own and when pushed can do 155
• leg extensions hurt a lot, started on 30kg and now push 90kg on my own, when pushed 120kg
• dumbbells doing what i call a eagle stretching your arms out and back, started on 2.5kg on my own can do 7.5kg and when pushed 10kg 
• plate loaded lap down can do 40kg with mates as started recently

As you can see my weights have increased a lot and that is not even the full list of the workouts i do.

Feel good Fitness Social Links !!!
https://www.facebook.com/FeelgoodGrantham/
https://www.instagram.com/granthamfeelgood/



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