Welcome to my Personal Blog, where i will post about movies, tips, and my life. this is me one person Photographer,Video Producer,blogger,music producer and much more !!! (:
check my website out for more details
http://dmpuk.weebly.com/
The picture you see above is people starting to turn up outside Grantham Tennis Club, you can clearly spot me being socially awkward on the bench.
It was nice meeting at the first place to make me happy in my life and to start me on the rest of my journeys.
Even The manager Sarah from Grantham Tennis Club came along to give The sessions a go (:
I turned up really early as i always do with everything, i was soon shocked to see over 80 people turn up i believe there was.
People were split into 2 groups the ones wanting to do the 10k course and the ones doing the 5k.
The idea is over a 12 week period to get people together, get active, be a part of a team, talk to people and aim to reach their desired goal either the 5k or 10k.
I joined Grantham Running Club in the middle of 2016 for 2 reasons.
to get out of the house and to work my way back to becoming just as active as i was 5+years a go.
The price also shocked me as it was around 20 pounds to join not for a month but for a whole year !!!
not only that but you get the following benefits
They are affiliated to the England Athletics (UKA) which means:You get £2 discount for most Road Races.
Access to all the training sessions.
You can compete on the Road, at X/C and Multi Terrain events.
You are covered under ARC's insurance policy for Legal Liability.
You also get England Athletics Competition License worth £13.00 included
Sadly my depression got on top of me with the fact of joining the club after these sessions were put on meant that i was not fit and it took a lot of motivation to get out the door to join in.
After 3 sessions i decided that the running club was not for me as i could not handle even 3k out of the 5k.
Since then i worked my socks off with my fitness, my strength my problems and my life.
The start of 2017 saw a new me, beaming with new found motivation, the drive to succeed, building a community around me, making friends, and growing as a person.
So this is why i Re Joined The running club but this time when the sessions are going off so i can work my way up to 5k.
Anyway going back to the day as more people turned up as you can see from the picture below
The group that was doing the 5k course went over to warm up, we did different stretches etc, we then got split into 3 groups with there being a lot of us.
The idea of the session was for all ages and experiences of running, so we would do a minute walking followed by jogging and did that for around 30 minutes.
we did not cover 5k, as with it being the first session, you dont want to push people who have never run before. i think we did around 2-3k if anyone knows how much we did then i will update this blog (:
I hardly talked throughout the session as i was not used to a big group and i wanted to get my head down focusing on the journey ahead.
Overall it was a amazing experience, seeing a community get together in this way is magically.
not only are people wanting to become fit, but its a great way to meet new people as we stand more stronger together then you do by yourself.
You praise each other, you motivate each other and if your talking while running, you will be amazed how quick the session goes but also how much more you managed to achieve (:
This is what Grantham is all about the community and i have been so happy to be a part of it, weather Thats helping at with local causes with photography and videos to being a part of the amazing businesses doing actives.
Grantham is its own place of happiness countryside, amazing businesses and the best community i have ever seen.
I came away from the session feeling very happy, to the point i put on my headphones to walk back home and that turned into jogging most of the way back !!!
I know that with every session as its not just once a week but twice for 12 weeks that it will get harder as we increase the speed of the jog and the distance to reach the 5k and for those who are wanting more the 10k mark.
I am going to put every bit of effort in i can in every session even though Wednesdays will be a test as i go full out with 3-4 of tennis on that day (:
I know i have the strength this year, i am happy with who i am and i have goals i want to fulfill this year.
At the end of the course will be a memorable day as All participants completing the course will receive a technical t-shirt and celebration BBQ.
I hope by then i can learn to talk to people as the last thing i want is to sit in the corner while everyone is celebrating lol.
I want to thank all the staff for helping put this together, taking their time and effort to help others.
I also want to thank everyone who did decide that it would be better going for a run and being a part of something bigger rather then sitting on the coach watching tv (:
I shall be doing another blog post after the 12 weeks posting about the progress of not only me but the other members who also did the course.
If you want to know more about joining Grantham Running Club you can check out their social links below https://www.facebook.com/GranthamRunningClubhttp://www.granthamrunningclub.co.uk/index.php https://twitter.com/GranthamRC
if you want to check out what else i get up to you can by these links (:
In Todays Blog post i am going to be telling you how i achieve this stats and why you should have a My Zone Belt.
I have already mentioned about how much Gym has changed me so i wont go into to much of the same detail.
I think i have now been with Feel Good Fitness in Grantham for around 5 months and it that time my body has changed so much.
I have also become friends with some amazing people and starting really coming out of my shell.
a few weeks a go A few of the staff at the gym noticed how well i was doing and awarded me my very own myzone belt.
At first i was struggling to get used to it being on me and also struggled getting it on.
But its become a essential tool to my success where from somewhere my true cardio potential is unleashed.
I wanted to thank the team at feel good fitness by taking some photography of the product which you can see below
the reason why the belt helps me so much is because i can monitor live in the gym how well i am doing to see if i need to push harder.
Several times in the week there are also classes which uses the belt.
I have now been on a watt bike class 2 times and came out with the best results i have ever done.
The class it built around matching the colored zones so for example the class is 30 minutes long
in that you will have 2 minutes in the green and yellow sector, followed by a rest period and then a few times reaching the red done which is around 90 percent.
The competitiveness inside me comes out and i really push hard on making sure i hit the zone and stay it in.
i have been trying to think the best way to describe how it feels and i am struggling because you need to experience it for yourself.
all i can say is it showed how strong i was inside that if i am just doing cardio without the belt i do not push as hard as i could be.
the belt is also amazing because they are sometimes challenges to reach a target for a month and the fastest person who gets there wins a prize.
when you login into the myzone website you can track how well you did in the session, you can take the belt on the move as well, so if your a runner, a biker or someone who just like going for long walks, it all counts to your goals.
just make sure you remember to wear it !!!!
The website also tracks everyone who had got a belt, so you see how well they did compared to you.
weather you like supporting them telling them how will they did on one session or wanting to beat there record its all about having fun (:
of course if your doing weights you wont be hitting hard targets but some people just like seeing the results rather then be the first to win (:
The gym itself is a amazing place, and i love going to the point i think i over do it sometimes whoops that is just me i like to push and get stronger, i am full of spirit and drive !!!
I wanted to build a community around me and over the last few months i have done just that i am the happiest i have ever been in my life and that is all down to my friends and the wonderful community and businesses in Grantham !!!
so if you live somewhere that has a feel good fitness pop in ask to get a demo belt to see what you think, because they are well worth it and for me its gave me strength i never knew was there.
so thank you Grantham Feel good fitness for showing faith in me, showing me you staff are wonderful people and that your business is growing and i hope it keeps doing so (:
if you would like to check what feel good fitness is all about you can do below, they have instagram !!!
so back at the end of September Grantham Tennis club got funding from the Lincolnshire NHS Trust to provide a 12 week course.
This ran for 2 hours every Wednesday up till Christmas.
The scheme helped me that much that I have now become a member at the club and is my most happy place in the world !!!
I suffered from depression and anxiety I hardly ever wanted to leave my room.
This scheme has completely turned my life around and turned me into a better person.
The first half of the course you get to start from the basics learning ball control, backhands,forehands, serves and much more.
then as you get used to the different techniques we got taught to play point scoring games, how to use what we have already learned but in a more advanced way.
While your there every week you get to play mini games and get to know the people who are also on the course as well.
The coaches are always nice, you can have a laugh with them and they are amazing at playing tennis.
When the course had finished at Christmas we got the chance to go to a meal and awards were up for grabs as well as your very own tennis racket.
This is a picture of me holding my ratchet (:
we was told that although the funding has stopped, if we still wanted to come along a payment of 3 pounds was to be paid on a volunteered basis meaning you could pay the 3 pounds if you wanted to, to show support and effort put in to continue the sessions.
since i first started the sessions i have never missed any because i look forward to it so much.
i give it my all every week knowing it only once a week.
the feeling of pushing yourself but having fun and really getting to know people and see their amazing progress is a amazing experience.
Grantham Tennis club gave me the strength to improve my fitness to the point i now go to a gym 4 times a week, soon be joining the local running club and now i am a member at the tennis club, i can go whenever i want (:
so if anyone, feels low, not played tennis before or maybe you have not played it in ages.
I do urge you to come along you dont have to turn up to all of the sessions if you feel its not for you.
just be yourself, you will be surprised how quick you pick up the sport and how quick you get used to talking to the other people and becoming friends (:
The course starts 10th may but the 2 weeks before you can come along and give it a go like a taster session to see if you want to be a part of it.
There will only be limited places to why not give the club a call or pop in to have a word (:
You will also get fresh fruit every session halfway through to help get back the energy !!!
In my experience its a amazing opportunity that i wished so much that other businesses would open up to try and there would be more funding in place to help.
Being active has not cured my problems but being active and doing what i love has made me stronger to better control how i feel.
and trust me when i say that the 2 hours will fly by so quick that you just wish the next week would be here already !!!
if you have heard of Grantham Tennis club and want to support them please cast your vote here to help get the club more funding to help set up more schemes (:
http://www.ringroselaw.co.uk/grand-idea/vote-now/
summary of what the grand idea is about
At Ringrose Law we are committed to supporting the local community that we work in. Our A Grand Idea scheme was set up to help give something back to the local community where we live and work.
Over the last few years we have supported some fantastic local projects and charities including Children’s Bereavement Centre in Newark, Spalding Rugby Club, Branston village Skate Park and St Andrews Children’s’ Hospice.
In 2017 we will be re-launching A Grand Idea across Lincolnshire and Newark and donating £1,000 each to six different local projects.
if you want to get in contact with the tennis club you can do below thank you for reading
if you need help with transport please ring the club office on 01476 591391 and mention the feeling good program.
Before i Begin this post i would like to say that i have no idea how to take a good picture to show off muscles, also yes i do look like i have double chins which i have never seen in any of my pictures i have took lol.
Just shows sometimes a picture can capture stuff you dont want to (:
So let me tell you why getting strong and being active is so important to me !!!
well i could drag a load of issues up from my childhood but for now we will leave that out.
as i mentioned in other blog posts i suffer from depression, which has many different outcomes.
people may not know this but depression is not just about your state of mind it can also impact how much strength you have. It can make your body weak, tired, tasks such as walking down some stairs can just be so painfully on days when you feel depressed.
I have suffered with this all my life, i have also gone from one extreme body weight to another.
I was as society puts it obeast around the ages of 10 to 15.
It was not until 2 years before i finished school that i noticed this and then went to a stick figure as again society calls it.
I weighed only 8 stone and i become very active in all kinds of sports.
The problem is when your young, your burn food quicker so you need to be eating a lot.
Although i was very active my mind was still not in the right place, and i was also very weak.
I am not joking when i say this when i say i struggled to carry a small lightweight bag of shopping.
I also had no grip on carrying things i would always drop stuff and looked like a fool when i did (:
this is me when i was 20 years old and had just got with someone
i started to eat to many takeaways put weight back on but this time to much, i stopped all forms of sport and become lazy.
some days i used to get dizzy and my body felt so tired even going for a hour walk made me super tired as if i had been walking for 5x that amount.
This was due to my depression and of course being unfit and not active.
Events happen and i am no longer with that person, for nearly a year i battled very bad with my depression, even times where for nearly a week i would not leave the house.
i was still weak in my mind and body.
I admit i am a social nerd i love being on a computer to much but in doing so is kind of where it has lead me to events in the here and now.
I focused on learning photography and through that it gave me the confidence just a little bit to come out of my comfort zone, look at who i was and now who i want to be.
a business adviser from the princes trust once said to me i set way to many goals for myself, and unrealistic exceptions.
This was because i am a dreamer, i like to think of what i want in life and how to get there.
Sadly because of my depression the goals i wanted to achieve was making me feel bad about myself, frustrated because it felt like i was getting no where in life.
the adviser talked some good sense into me and about looking at different aspects in my life what i need to focus on first.
so thats what i did i used my love of photography to keep my mind active while doing something about my body strength, because being strong in body can help be strong in mind.
Being active, can release happy thoughts and keep those monsters at bay.
there are a few factors that have come into play why i suddenly put the maximum effort into every gym session i go to, every time i play tennis, everytime i do anything that i feel i push myself to the limit.
I have come to understand from my friends that I have a lot of will power, that i am stronger then i think.
From my own thoughts this is how it seems that through all the pain and suffering i have been through, all the times i chose not to do something because of my depression, all the oppturnties in life i have missed, i now somehow channel all that raw emotion into becoming great.
That is not me saying hey look at me i am awesome no!!
that is saying that i would like to achieve in life, I had the idea that i would run my own business but at the current time in my life i know what i want which is something i always wanted to be from a kid but was never in the right mind and body for it to happen.
That is simply to feel as happy as i can, live each day as it comes, build a community around me that i can talk to when i feel down, that i can help grow, because if you have people around you that care and support you then that itself is the greatest feeling in the world.
I also feel because i have always been told i could never do good in life, i have always been looked down on, i dont look the part again as society sees it that i was never listened to.
So now the need to do well, the need to be praised makes me stronger and stronger.
I dont just improve i make leaps and bounds.
This may seem a stupid way to live life but in my eyes if i am not strong, if i can not fight my demons, if i can not make people aware of who i am then i do not see the point in being around.
Not only do i have my amazing creative mind to thank for putting me in a place that got all this going but the people i have come to get to know.
Gym is one of the things that has made a huge impact on my physical attitude to life.
I feel strong, i am strong, i can go shopping without the worry of not being able to carry it home.
Gym has improved my tennis skills because again feeling strong means you can put more power into your shots, run faster, your mind is sharper to whats going off around you.
Gym has become a drug in the sense that i have to keep getting stronger.
a good example of just how much raw sprite i have that i never knew was there, is I played nearly 4 hours of intense tennis, my feet hurt from doing leg day at the gym the day before.
i got home got food and just wanted to be active, i felt the need to go for a workout.
I knew in my mind i would not manage much because of how tired i was.
How wrong i was when i managed to push my boundaries to whole new levels and do better at keeping stamina then ever before.
a lot of people say this because it is so true, once you sit back and look who you was.
which is if you asked me 6 months a go what i wanted in life, who i would become the answer is not one i could ever dream off.
I was lost in so many thoughts at the start of 2016 i had no sprite i had no confidence i had no self believe in myself, i had no drive, no passion, no will power.
Yet in 2017 i feel like a new person, i feel that although my demons will challenge me more then ever in my life, i finally have the strength to push back just as hard.
I finally feel free to be who i want to be, to what i want to do, the sky is the limit as they say.
so across this year, i will keep having that fight in me, no pain no game, i am learning that very quickly at the gym.
I thought it was hard getting to where i am but the journey ahead for both mind and body is only going to keep getting harder and harder.
the reason why i write these posts about my life is one simple and honest answer
I was tired of who i am, i was tired of being in a corner, i was tired of not opening up to people.
So what if i am now to open to honest, i would rather get no where in life then lie to myself and to people.
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, the funniest, the bravest, the sexiest but i am one thing and that is i will never give up trying to get what i want in life (:
Thank you Reading this is me from the heart,
some advice is and will always be said by loads of people but only listen by a few.
Be who you are, do not let society tell you, to change, tell you to do something you dont want to do.
You were born for a reason embrace it, and flourish in the beautiful person you will always be (:
In this post I am going to be telling you who i look up to in the creative world.
So lets start things off with this amazing talented guy who is not only a musician, but owns a massive tech Company Called Patreon.
The first video i ever saw of his was years a go, i was into listing to the DubStep scene and noticed this guy pop up in the suggested videos.
The video was called pedals, and it blew my mind how much effort had been put into this video and how cool it was !!!
I watched more of his videos but with time and watching so much content, i kinda forget about this fellow.
So a few days a go not remembering how but i followed him on Instagram and noticed him post this picture
so i typed into YouTube Jack Conte to find some speeches he did For Patreon.
I have to say they were some of the most moving and funny speeches ever !!!
This video was one that moved me the most
He tells his story about how much time he spent not uploading content, because of working so hard and long on projects.
He talks about how the people he looks up to makes so much content good or bad because they just like making stuff.
The video is around 10 minutes long and full of really cool details about his life and about how to work to publish.
This guy motivates me because he has a lot of great information about life to keep trying and pushing yourself, when ever i watched his videos i would feel creative and want to make music (:
I do hope he keeps it up, as he is a very talented guy, who has that driven spark and knows how to dabble with different sectors of the industry (:
staying on the subject of The music Industry is another Talented chap who goes by the name of Andrew Huang
I can not remember at all how i fount this guy all i know is that the first video i ever watched was him making music by taking clips of sounds from Youtube Videos, editing them, putting effects on etc to make a track.
one his well known videos is Pink fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows
This went viral but its not the main reasons why i feel in love with his content.
After watching a few of his rap videos i came across his pure magic and talent.
These were videos where he would make music from objects, like taps, tyres, holding a electro magnet devices and adjusting the sounds from that to make different cool sounds used to make a track.
Here is my Favorite example of him on a trip and showcasing his pure magic skills
He has worked with different companies and he has brought some amazing Technology that blow my mind.
After watching his videos again i feel the need to be creative to try different things with my music, which often works and i feel i have been able to spend my time creating something magically because of the raw passion and dedication he puts into his work (:
its so cool to follow his life, and learn about different music techniques and how you can make music from anything !!
Moving onto fitness and sports people i look up to.
Over the past 6 months I have been Joining sessions at Grantham Tennis Club i have done a blog post about them so go check out my other cool blogs (:
There are a lot of wonderful staff there, but the one person that i look up to is Lewis which you can see a picture of him here he is the one on the left with the green ish top (:
He just recently passed his qualification and he well deserves it !!!
He helps the group of people every Wednesday which i am a part of the group.
His skills when playing is amazing, to the point if i am faced off with him in a game i try my all.
I keep trying to keep up with the different styles of play he uses and see if i can do the same.
When i first some him in action i was like how on earth do you do those shots, through attending the session, learning and giving my all, i have slowly started to increase my level so that when i play against him i am much better.
The staff at the club is what puts a smile on my face and it feels like home, in fact i often have a hour before and a few hours after the session because i love playing tennis so much (:
Before the end of 2016 I started watching tennis which in the past i never liked watching.
I quickly got so addicted to watching that when Andy Murray was playing raonic i was screaming at the computer, i was so hooked because it was the most intense game ever.
Murray was winning but then raonic serves just stunned me so much, his overall playing was amazing to, for weeks after i watched this i decided i wanted to learn his serve.
To start with i could not get the power needed at all, but with practice at using his serve i managed to get the speed and power needed and have now created my own serve.
Both players are amazing and in the past i heard of andy and would always support him, whenever tennis was on in the background i would look when he was only playing.
Now i love watching all players play, to see all the different ways of how they play serves, forehands backhands etc.
Its cool to see so many different ways to play so many different kind of shots.
Tennis has become the place i am most happy and quickly become the sport i can be good at and love.
Moving onto working out at the gym.
Back in 2016 i wanted to get stronger and got myself to a local gym, i hardly spoke to people and did not push myself.
I looked around on local facebook groupd asking if anyone went to Feel Good Fitness In Grantham and if so could they help me and become a gym buddy.
After a few months of asking I fount now 1 but 2 amazing people that i look up to
They push me to reach a level i never knew existed in me. they keep saying its all me its my will power but the fact is through pushing each other, having a good time and making it fun rather then a serious workout, it makes me want to do better and better, when your having a laugh you are not thinking about the pain as much.
If anyone says to you oh you whimp because you look tired and your body aches then you have never done a proper workout like we do.
If you come away feeling fine, not hurting etc then you are not doing it right.
The only way to get stronger is like the saying goes no pain no game.
I fount this out a few weeks back when using parts of my body i had never really used before.
i came away with my whole body hurting so much that everytime i moved it hurt, my friends told me i had teared a muscle and that is what supposed to of happened.
That is what happens when you workout you tear muscles and it repaires it so its stronger then it was before.
Dont ask me to explain the history or science etc behind it because i do not know how our bodies to it they just do !!!
I look up to my friends because it is was not for them i would not be able to do the things i can do in my life now.
again i see them do well and i say to myself i must get to that level so everytime i go i push harder and harder, everytime it gets tougher, it hurts, but after a good rest i feel the need to go again, its a addicting feeling gym is (:
Now moving back to the internet is the people i watch the most who again give me motivation in different ways and make me happy when i am feeling low.
We will start with the one the only, Like a Boss jacksepticeye
I think i have been watching his videos for 3 years now, it all started when me and my ex got into watching different Vloggers which then lead into watching different kind of content.
One of the best series of content Jack puts out is and now Youtube Comments with Jacksepticeye.
I started re watching this series as i am waiting for number 100 to out, yes he has made that many.
The idea of the video is he looks on social media inc YouTube for comments made, bad and good and reads them out.
That may seem boring but because he puts his voice, comedy and spin to things that is why its fun to watch.
As he made more episodes you can see he becomes better at it, feels more himself and confident.
Over the course of the series he has changed location and backdrops.
he has made over 1.000 videos of gaming, vlogs, and awesome content.
over that time he was got so many gifts from the fans inc the big plush sam you can see in the picture.
If you dont know who sam is then you need to watch his content !!!
this guy talks from the heart about a lot of things, which makes me happy and again picks up my day to be creative whether that be making music, photography videos, writing etc.
that nicely moves me onto wiishu who is jacks girlfriend
I came across her channel after it being down the suggested videos and from jack mentioning her in his videos.
I soon grew to like her content as she was like jack, down to earth, funny, and delivered good content.
Even though she is only just starting her Youtube Career she is becoming great at what she does.
Again this person gives me the strength to get on with the day some may say its silly that i feel different after watching just YouTube videos but its the powerful things that these people say and produce that really make you feel happy.
I hope she keeps putting content out, i hope it keeps getting better and better and i hope those 2 have a wonderful life together (:
speaking of making me feel better and this person with his awesome friends have stunned me with the latest content that is being made .
The one the only markiplier !!!
After watching loads of other Youtubers i came across this guy full of spirit.
soon after watching his content i found out a lot of the people i watched all knew each other and had all done content together as well.
Mark is one of the people who again speaks from the heart, he shows a lot of feelings when making videos, he has had a hard life but because he puts so much into his videos, you can see his efforts and how much he cares about his community.
One of the videos i recently watched must of took so long to make and was one of the creative and well put together video i have watched.
Its called a date with markiplier, and its clever as its not just one video but 10 !!!
meaning you can see different versions based on the outcome you have chosen much like a video game.
i loved the horror choice and reminded me of the bad jack video towards the end which the pumpkin.
All these YouTube channels all these creative people, make my life just that little bit easier.
If i ever feel that i can not be creative on a day or i feel low, these people lift me back up and make me stronger then ever.
I will end this blog with the fact that i could write so much more and feature so many more people.
If you like this blog and would like a part 2 !!! please let me know in the comments or social media
thank you for reading
On Saturday 4th March saw one of the Biggest Marches In London For NHS the overall figure is not known but the estimate is over 250,000 people thats a quarter of a million !!!!
Over the past couple of months I have been covering The Closure Of Grantham A & E Through Photography and videos.
When i Noticed The Protest going off for the NHS I wanted to be a part of it.
So i woke up at 5.30 am Got everything ready, inc my laptop to edit some pictures and videos on the go.
I got a lift up to the coach that was taking us to London and around 50 of us from Grantham left at 730 am.
I managed to take a video and a few pics at the start of the journey
this is the lovely Sarah Stock who made us all laugh (:
I wanted to take some more videos and pictures as we reached london but with the coach being full and having lots of equipment on me i did not want to mess around moving about.
we got to London for 11.30 am and without having time to plan where and how i was going to do the media side of things we started walking with others from different places around the Uk to Gather where the first set of speakers were being held.
Phil Hammond brought the whole of London chanting, and getting them ready and pumped for the march ahead which you can see here
One of the best chants were The NHS isnt over spent its underfunded by 20 percent (:
I tried to capture both videos and photography of the speakers which are still being uploaded to YouTube and my social media pages.
I believe there were around 10 speakers all with spirit and amazing words to say about saving the NHS .
After a hour the march was starting, i am not sure the route or roads we went but all i know is we was marching for about 1 hour and a half.
It was a euphoric experience and feeling, as 250,000 people were chanting, waving banners, and showing support.
In my opinion the one person that kept the whole crowd alive, chanting and happy was the wonderful Melissa Darcey as you can see in the picture above, I dont know how she did it but she showed strong spirit, & Strength and has got leader skills (:
One of the chants that i think got people going to the most was WHOS NHS, OUR NHS !!!
I noticed a fellow member of our group holding one of our banners From Grantham who was also taking pictures and asked if he wanted me to hold it so he could use his camera.
I have always been the person with the camera and never ever marched with a banner, it felt awesome, the fact that your marching, with chants for something you are fighting for with 250,000 people + its a unbelievable feeling.
You feel happy, excited, proud, my anxiety and fear of being round that many people just vanished.
I was glad to have the chance to be a part of the day.
I have not found a picture of me holding a banner but if i do i will add it in (:
The day ended with more speakers, i was needing to have a pit stop and was so tired.
I followed a group of people from Grantham to use the facilities and it was a nightmare.
This was so many people in one place that my anxiety played up and had to leave.
I think the difference between having a major open space and marching with that happy feeling, to feeling tired and just wanting to rest on top of the fact of everyone battling for a place to walk and sit down in a pub just got to me.
We left London at 530 pm and because people had come from coaches everywhere it was a nightmare to get out.
Eventually we left and was talking to a fellow photographer on the way back, I got my laptop back at with 20 percent remanding.
So i used that time to transfer the pictures ready to be edited when i get home.
I somehow had took over 300 pictures and 40 different video clips.
This was going to be tough editing week ahead but after seeing the results it was worth it !!!
Overall it was pure magic that so many people wanted to fight for what should be theirs.
All links to my work will be at the end of this post.
so moving onto how the Cuts to the NHS Affect me ??
Since being a child i have suffered with depression & anxiety and no one addressed the issues i faced or offered support and to this day i still battle with getting the support i need.
I have no contact with my family due to what happened as it was them who made me the way i was and still feeling today.
I was Born In Nottingham but moved to Grantham to be with someone.
which we broke up because of many reasons and issues but mainly because of my problems that at the time i refused to get sorted.
In my eyes and i will believe this for a very long time everything happens for a reason and that people learn to change and adapt to their new lives.
I also took life for granted, i was to settled with being with that person and not having my own things to do, i spent to much time also playing video games and not paying attention to the real world.
even though i was happy to be with that person inside something always felt empty, which was not her fault but mine.
So after we broke up my already issues got worse, i went into supported housing, and had someone who could help me and someone i could talk to.
Through explaining that i have always struggled with these problems i went with my support worker to the doctors who put a referral to the mental health services.
At the same time of telling the support worker i struggle with getting words from my brain onto paper, speaking, doing things that are so easy and i know how to do but can not do them.
It was clear that i had some form of dyspraxia.
I also told the doctor this to see if i could get funding for some support.
I received a letter back within a week saying there was no funding in lincolnshire From the NHS for this or to even get tests for having mild dyslexia.
After waiting 5 months for a referral for the mental health services which is all a part of the NHS.
I managed to have 12 weeks of Counselling which did help me a little but i needed more.
Again i had to play the waiting game as i was told if i wanted more i would have to re apply which lead to waiting another 3 months, to see someone to see what best approach they can take to get me help.
Which yes again then waited another 2 months to talk to someone else which i thought was for CBT Cognitive behavioural therapy .
I had enough of waiting and wanting the help but not getting it so i opened up at much as i ever did and explained that i am not getting the support i need.
I was told i could have a chance at getting refereed for a assessment which is like the higher tier to see what more they can do.
A week later i was told sorry we can not do that as we feel you do not meet our criteria.
So someone who has bad depression 3-4 times a week sometimes 2-3 weeks non stop, who has trouble talking to people, being in places, having panic attacks etc is not deemed as hitting there points.
I feel it is because they can no longer fund it so instead of saying that they say you cant because you do not meets our needs, when its my needs !!!!
also as a year as come and gone i have tried every resource into getting help with my other issues, contacting the official dyspraxia to be told we do not have funding, i have gotten no where into finding help.
The fact is i do not want to be who i am, my issues have stopped me living the life i want, its stopped me having friends and starting my own business because of how i feel.
I have had to battle with this and if it was not for the community of Grantham i have been Building around me, i would be lost, alone and it a worse place then i already am.
I know go to gym, 4 times a week, play tennis, love doing photography so much that i dont miss gaming, i do not miss having the luxury things i had because i am happy with what i have got.
i would rather have less things and be surround by a lot of people who care and show support, then having lots of things but have no friends and people to talk to.
One of the speakers at the march in London mentioned about the cuts to Mental Health services and i feel people look down on us and do not treat us how we need to be because mental health is not taking seriously enough.
someone my seem to be happy, and seeing as they do not look to have anything wrong and that is because like with myself, i put a mask on in a way to hid it, to surpress it just to be happy.
If it was not for getting a little bit of help already from the services at the moment from the NHS i would not be as strong as i am.
But it is still not enough and i feel the cuts to these services will only get worse.
Thank you for reading and i hope That in time all areas of the NHS will grow and get the support and funding it needs !!!!!!!!
For photography of the March please check this link
https://www.facebook.com/dmpphotographyuk/
For videos, news and updates please check these links (:
Dan Media Productions Channel
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0bYAuM6fZcOz6JnSujtpHg
After watching a musician by the name of Jack Conte and talking to a bunch of other people, i feel the need to be inspirational.
when i look back at how my life has changed so much and how much i have adapted to life it shocks me.
I am not going to go way back in time, so we will start from when i first got with the person that i have to thank for showing me what life is about.
I was dealing with a lot from my parents and was suffering a lot with problems.
I had never really traveled, and never really experienced life out of room and nottingham where i lived.
Around the time of being forced to be homeless due to really not getting on with my parents and wanting a better life.
Was when i starting hanging out with my Girlfriend who is now my ex, for the first time i had to get used to not having my parents to help me.
My gf at the time lived miles away and i could only see here once a week, i was living in a rubbish shared house with a landlord who did not care about the property at all.
Days of people shouting, banging and poor conditions meant my problems only got worse.
I did not know how to cope for myself but at least if i was down and wanted company, my gf was on the other end of the phone.
things were hard for both of us, and eventually we battled through it to live together.
Throughout the 5 years we were together we grew, we travelled and enjoyed life.
I might not of looked it but i was battling with my depression all the time, i thought it was normal so never bothered to get it sorted.
As couples do we aruged a lot, i also relied on her to much to do stuff as i really struggled to do the easiest of tasks.
So we ended up breaking up, not the way i would of liked to either.
For the first time in my life i was alone, i had to defend myself and get used to doing things by myself.
In a way i needed the break up in order to learn how to do things by myself, learn to change as a person and to find the help i needed.
For 6 months i let my depression get worse, i would not talk to people i would not open up, i didnt know how to, i knew what had gone off was mostly my fault and all i could think about was turning back time.
I let day after day slide away, as i had no drive to do anything.
Little by little over the 6 months i opened up a little, starting to let people help me and started to realise that i do have issues and need to get them sorted.
I am not ashamed to admit my problems, who i have had support from and knowing i need more support, because that is all about live learning your mistakes and problems and getting them sorted.
For the 6 months after breaking up, i slowly put my life back together, i was housed with Narco Housing who are a supported housing team, with properties across Grantham.
Is houses anyone who is homeless and helps them with any needs.
its only for 6 months with the chance to move on into a self contained flat with them.
I decided that i was ready to move onto better accommodation but not in my own place.
I felt that although my mind was in a better place, i still struggled by myself, with cooking, cleaning etc.
I fount myself a landlord at the right place with what i needed and my new life was about to begin.
From there things were getting better, as i started to get my head down, with being creative, making music, videos and enjoying learning about photography.
although i still not worked on my social skills i fount through my photography that i was slowly building a community around me.
as 2016 was ending my depression came back really bad and i was lost what i wanted to do with my life again.
I was getting no help from the mental health services and felt my life was going nowhere.
So i said to myself that for 2017 i am going to push even harder to get the support, i am going to work even harder to become stronger, to be more creative and be happy with who i am.
In the last 3 months in 2017 have been the best in my life so far,
I am more active then i ever was in my life, My skills have improved milestones, i feel more confident in my ability to produce Creative content (:
I have finally been able to be fully open to most people as this is me, not point lying to myself anymore or to anyone.
I think with me being open to a lot of people its why people now have my back more then ever,
the community of grantham have shown me a lot of support.
I have also done the same.
I decided to start my own blog on this site to help the businesses of grantham, tell people about my journey and personal life.
As well i started a twitter account aimed at helping lincolnshire grow, i like helping out the best way i can because i feel lincolnshire does not get enough credit and on the map.
We people in lincolnshire may not have as many places as Nottinghamshire, or as good transport etc but we give what matters which is having a awesome community of people (:
as i grow as a person, new and exciting chances come up.
the fact that i am myself doing all these amazing things that i come up with makes me feel better about myself then i was a year a go.
Its took me a year to find where i stand in life, i no longer look back at the past but instead acknowledge that without the events that happened i would not be able to experience the better life i have right now.
I have learned to cope by myself, learned to find ways around things that i can not do and learn to be happy with what i have got.
as not having a lot of things does not bother me as long as i can help people, improve my own skills and become more social then i think that is a life worth having rather then sitting playing computer games all day long !!!! (:
I am worried about the future because the events in 2016 made me push more then ever.
I am worried because i still can not get the support i need and now have been told i do not meet the levels to get higher help which it what i need.
So the steps i need to take this year is to take no for a answer and fight back, fight the people who do not believe in me, not literally of course (: to show people what i am all about and how i can help lincolnshire out.
Someone once said your live may seem like a circle but in someways you need to go back to the roots in order to get the help you need.
Which is what i have now done i am now going back in support housing, i am now going to seek the help i deserve to get better.
My social skills will improve every month, i will keep finding more and more ways to get my work out there, to make it better and better and find new ways of being creative.
I will become stronger in my physically body, so that i can run and compete to a high level.
I will push my boundaries and with my will power come out on top and better then before.
I will travel more this year and capture the wonderful world.
I will work on not being shy, not feeling awarked , not running away from places that i do not feel comfortable in.
lastly i will work higher then i ever have done in every aspect in my life to have the things in life i want.
I finally feel happy to be myself around others without the fear of judgement, without the feeling of not being welcomed.
That is all thanks to the wonderful people and support of Grantham !!!!
and i do not see myself moving out of this lovely place for a very long time (:
