I am writing this because of the achievement i have come away with so far this week.
The picture above was taken at the end of the run Tonight which is 17-05-17
I did not even know till i got home and looked in the group that this was took lol, i was that tired and wet from the rain i just wanted to get home (:
One of the runners brought in some amazing treats, for us to try (:
We had such a selection to choose from which inc Mocha Brownies,Gluten free Brownie with fruit and seed Peanut butter truffles
Vegetarian Vegan Gluten-free
It has been raining heavy all day, i commented in the group that i was not going.
I have to admit just seeing the pictures did tempt me but also i had nothing better to do so i thought to heck with it and i am so happy i went .
This week i managed to run my first 5k, which was around 5.5k, as we had a barrel of laughs getting lost in the woods and having to run a loop extra to find the rest of our group.
we went off road, on very narrow paths, bumps, uphill and fast downhill slopes.
I came away tired and hurting, but so pleased and after todays run that smile got even bigger as despite the heavy rain i managed to run 5k yet again.
I have been told so many times, that i can do it i just have to pace myself.
I realized that after managing the 2 runs thats its all in my head.
since the start of the course i had not been able to pace myself, if i started getting pains and struggling to breath i had to either stop, or run like mad, for a min causing more harm to myself but managing to get further then i would have.This has been the case with most things in life, i either go full on or no effort at all.
If it was not for some of the run leaders, telling me off in a joke way and controlling my pace, i would not be able to even manage to complete 5k.
Sometimes in life i just need that little push, of confidence, that little bit of control and then i settle and really do well.
Like with many others in the group we have already completed 5k and thats with still having about 4 weeks left which is 8 sessions due to it being twice a week.
I think the idea is to get everyone to run 5k and then in the last few weeks start to increase the running speed.
with running between 5k and just over it means we are already running at a fast pace and the session normally being around 40mins,
I am super pleased with myself because of how much my life has changed in just under a year.
2016 as i mentioned in other blog posts was a bad year,
from January till june i had to suffer bad from my depression because i had to be put on a waiting list to even get help from the mental health service.
In those months i hardly ate, i hardly left my room, nearly everyday i would be crying for hours, going insane and at points did not want to live.
Due to my own actions 2016 was a bad year however it needed to be, because something happened at the end of July that started me on the right path and where my journey has lead me to this point in my life.
I started opening up about my mental health, i started to hit the gym and get stronger, i ate better, and slowly i was pushing back the depression and aniexty and starting to grow up and live my life.
in 2016 i had drive but it was not enough because i was not mentally nor physically fit.
I will always suffer from mental health issues but because i have built the community around me.
Its given me new found strength, its makes me happier and i have more drive to do well in life.
They say when you cant look back because of a massive moment in your life for worse or good, that you feel free, and that you can craft your own destiny.
I do think about the past a few times but i do not let it make me fall to pieces like it used to do.
I do not think of being in the past but how i can change as a person and grow my new life.
I am me at the end of the day and weather i talk about stuff that sometimes should not be said i would rather have a bad image then keep things bottled up.
The only thing i ever wish i could change it being able to talk to my ex as a friend, and things did not end the way they did.
I am happy she managed to move on and be with someone who can understand her better.
and that for myself the break up needed to happen so i could grow up, learn to cope by myself, learn new skills and find parts of me that i knew was there but was not confident enough to bring them out.
i can not change the past, and if i had the chance to i would not, things happen for a reason, and for nearly a year i could not understand this.
Life is a journey, that is all about discovering yourself and until you are put into a situation where you have nothing and learn to build your life back up you start to notice little changes at first.
Like new foods you like, foods you hated put now love, finding skills you didnt know you had, and understanding why you have been put on this journey.
the past may think, or what rubbish, etc but until you have been down that road you can not even comprehend how it feels.
I have surround myself with people who understand about mental health, i have made true friends that understand me, i have people who believe in me and are willing to help.
all my life i have never had friends, because people did not understand me, i was also in a bad place for many years , but now i have learnt to stand up for myself, i have learned to try in life, and keep pushing even through the bad times, and i feel happyier then i ever have in my life because i am proud that i have discover who i am, what i am good at, and what to aim for in life.
To end the day and this blog post on a happy and surprising note.
I got a email from Grantham Tennis Club, asking if i would like to be part of a team, to play matches.
In Mens Doubles,
these are more then just social matches at the club, this is being a part of a team and having a experience i have always dreamed of having.
so on Monday the 22th may 2017 i will be heading to Washingborough to play my first ever team game !!!
the last 2 weeks have been a battle because, i had a minor leg issue which meant i had to miss a lot of tennis, and a few running sessions.
But i came back even better then before i had the issue.
what breaks us only makes us stronger and that is so true !!!!!!!!
I hope the rest of the year keeps going like this, i am also off to my next parkrun this weekend hoping to do much better then my first one and with only 4 weeks left of the running club, hoping that my leg pain does not come back (:
Thank you for reading.
if you have ever had a change in your life that has been hard but you like the new person you are now, feel free to explain what made you change.
if you apart of a running club, or a sports team i would like to know, and how will your doing !!
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