when i look back at how my life has changed so much and how much i have adapted to life it shocks me.
I am not going to go way back in time, so we will start from when i first got with the person that i have to thank for showing me what life is about.
I was dealing with a lot from my parents and was suffering a lot with problems.
I had never really traveled, and never really experienced life out of room and nottingham where i lived.
Around the time of being forced to be homeless due to really not getting on with my parents and wanting a better life.
Was when i starting hanging out with my Girlfriend who is now my ex, for the first time i had to get used to not having my parents to help me.
My gf at the time lived miles away and i could only see here once a week, i was living in a rubbish shared house with a landlord who did not care about the property at all.
Days of people shouting, banging and poor conditions meant my problems only got worse.
I did not know how to cope for myself but at least if i was down and wanted company, my gf was on the other end of the phone.
things were hard for both of us, and eventually we battled through it to live together.
Throughout the 5 years we were together we grew, we travelled and enjoyed life.
I might not of looked it but i was battling with my depression all the time, i thought it was normal so never bothered to get it sorted.
As couples do we aruged a lot, i also relied on her to much to do stuff as i really struggled to do the easiest of tasks.
So we ended up breaking up, not the way i would of liked to either.
For the first time in my life i was alone, i had to defend myself and get used to doing things by myself.
In a way i needed the break up in order to learn how to do things by myself, learn to change as a person and to find the help i needed.
For 6 months i let my depression get worse, i would not talk to people i would not open up, i didnt know how to, i knew what had gone off was mostly my fault and all i could think about was turning back time.
I let day after day slide away, as i had no drive to do anything.
I am not ashamed to admit my problems, who i have had support from and knowing i need more support, because that is all about live learning your mistakes and problems and getting them sorted.
For the 6 months after breaking up, i slowly put my life back together, i was housed with Narco Housing who are a supported housing team, with properties across Grantham.
Is houses anyone who is homeless and helps them with any needs.
its only for 6 months with the chance to move on into a self contained flat with them.
I decided that i was ready to move onto better accommodation but not in my own place.
I felt that although my mind was in a better place, i still struggled by myself, with cooking, cleaning etc.
I fount myself a landlord at the right place with what i needed and my new life was about to begin.
From there things were getting better, as i started to get my head down, with being creative, making music, videos and enjoying learning about photography.
although i still not worked on my social skills i fount through my photography that i was slowly building a community around me.
as 2016 was ending my depression came back really bad and i was lost what i wanted to do with my life again.
I was getting no help from the mental health services and felt my life was going nowhere.
So i said to myself that for 2017 i am going to push even harder to get the support, i am going to work even harder to become stronger, to be more creative and be happy with who i am.
In the last 3 months in 2017 have been the best in my life so far,
I am more active then i ever was in my life, My skills have improved milestones, i feel more confident in my ability to produce Creative content (:
I have finally been able to be fully open to most people as this is me, not point lying to myself anymore or to anyone.
I think with me being open to a lot of people its why people now have my back more then ever,
the community of grantham have shown me a lot of support.
I have also done the same.
I decided to start my own blog on this site to help the businesses of grantham, tell people about my journey and personal life.
As well i started a twitter account aimed at helping lincolnshire grow, i like helping out the best way i can because i feel lincolnshire does not get enough credit and on the map.
We people in lincolnshire may not have as many places as Nottinghamshire, or as good transport etc but we give what matters which is having a awesome community of people (:
as i grow as a person, new and exciting chances come up.
the fact that i am myself doing all these amazing things that i come up with makes me feel better about myself then i was a year a go.
Its took me a year to find where i stand in life, i no longer look back at the past but instead acknowledge that without the events that happened i would not be able to experience the better life i have right now.
I have learned to cope by myself, learned to find ways around things that i can not do and learn to be happy with what i have got.
as not having a lot of things does not bother me as long as i can help people, improve my own skills and become more social then i think that is a life worth having rather then sitting playing computer games all day long !!!! (:
I am worried about the future because the events in 2016 made me push more then ever.
I am worried because i still can not get the support i need and now have been told i do not meet the levels to get higher help which it what i need.
So the steps i need to take this year is to take no for a answer and fight back, fight the people who do not believe in me, not literally of course (: to show people what i am all about and how i can help lincolnshire out.
Someone once said your live may seem like a circle but in someways you need to go back to the roots in order to get the help you need.
Which is what i have now done i am now going back in support housing, i am now going to seek the help i deserve to get better.
My social skills will improve every month, i will keep finding more and more ways to get my work out there, to make it better and better and find new ways of being creative.
I will become stronger in my physically body, so that i can run and compete to a high level.
I will push my boundaries and with my will power come out on top and better then before.
I will travel more this year and capture the wonderful world.
I will work on not being shy, not feeling awarked , not running away from places that i do not feel comfortable in.
lastly i will work higher then i ever have done in every aspect in my life to have the things in life i want.
I finally feel happy to be myself around others without the fear of judgement, without the feeling of not being welcomed.
That is all thanks to the wonderful people and support of Grantham !!!!
Thank you for reading
Jack Conte Inspiring words
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